Shifting Gears in the Land of Confusion

There was a song back in the day called “Land of Confusion” by the band Genesis.   This tune popped in my head the other day when I got behind the wheel of our Jeep.  You see, this Jeep is almost “old timey” and has an honest to goodness manual transmission.  Driving a stick shift has become a possible land of confusion for the next generations because cars, like so many other things, have become more automatic. 

It’s important to me to teach my boys how to drive a car with a clutch.  Or a tractor.  Or a truck.  Anything that requires shifting gears based on engine rpm’s, load, or terrain.  I want them to know how to navigate with their knowledge and senses.  I’m not sure how much longer anything with a manual transmission will be around but it’s important to me that they at least know and have that experience.  That’s why they putter around the driveway in the Jeep and jump at the chance to drive the tractor and work its levers and pedals.

The driver’s seat of a manual transmission car could easily be the land of confusion if you have never been there.  There are 3 pedals on the floor instead of two.  There’s a gear shift that has numbers in a certain pattern that looks a bit intimidating.  Shoot, one of the first trucks I ever drove had the gearshift coming out of the steering column!  Talk about learning as I went! 

The fact is that it’s really important to know how to shift gears.  Even on automatic transmission vehicles you can sometimes select a certain gear when situations or conditions warrant.  It’s good to know what gears are for, when to use them, and the what happens when you do!  Even on bicycles it’s important to know how to use your gears.  Your comfort and speed depend on it!

When I drive our Jeep it’s like a little dance to get it down the road.  I can pull away from a stop sign and I can sense when to change gears by listening to the engine.  Trust me, if I let it in one gear too long it just gets louder but doesn’t go any faster!  It has a sweet spot where you can move through the gears and as long as your muscle memory in your left foot and right hand is on point you can do it pretty smoothly.  It might seem like a lot is going on if you aren’t used to a manual transmission-equipped vehicle but it’s oddly satisfying and extremely engaging to go down the road shifting gears!

Shifting gears gives you a sense of authority and control over your travel.  That’s a lot of responsibility but it also brings a sense of freedom.  Maybe people gravitate towards automatic transmission vehicles because it does a lot of the thinking and work for us?  And when people consistently choose automatics over manuals the manufacturers will choose whatever makes them money and efficiency!  Maybe I’m just overthinking the plight of the manual transmission vehicle.  But all of this changing gears talk has me thinking about how we perceive changing gears with God.

God is the author of changing gears.  Specifically our gears.  Now we might not always recognize that or even give Him credit.  In fact, I would say many of us are happiest when we get to choose one gear and stay in it!   But God selects gears for us to follow Him and grow through him and that is, in the world’s perspective, oddly satisfying and extremely engaging.   When we seek Him in all of our circumstances we can expect to move through gears.  Not all gears are easy or what we want but they hinge on trusting God.  God loves you, you know that right?   It’s important to move through gears with God because these are the days He has us living within.  It’s not an accident; He actually wanted you and I to live at this moment of time! 

At this moment of time I think it’s important to know Jesus and have our gears shifted.   We shouldn’t just sit back and let life go by automatically.  Some might say that God should go the way of the manual transmission and eventually fade away into the rear-view mirror.  I believe there’s still a place for stick-shifts and Jesus; We just have to put the effort into knowing who God is and what He’s up to…even if it’s just a Bible verse that helps us in a little conversation in a day.  Our attitude and approach to the day reflect how, and if, we let God shift our gears. 

Manual transmissions are few and far between but they are still out there, moving along with all the automatic ones.  My hope is that we, you and I, allow God to shift us through all of the gears as we live among others.  I hope that we don’t choose to stay in gears of our own choosing.  My prayer is that we find comfort and peace through the process of changing gears and that our testimony and response brings others to Him.  Life is too precious to be stuck in gears that ultimately aren’t going to get us anywhere.  Don’t let life be automated.  Don’t dig into a gear that God isn’t in. 

The Next Big Thing

I’m a big believer that everyone has something they are uniquely qualified to do.  Sometimes it’s pretty obvious.  Other times it becomes noticeable as more time and experiences occur.  What you are uniquely qualified to do might be part of your career or it might just be a constant part of your personality woven through many parts of your life.

I was poking around looking for “my next big thing” the other day.  A “big thing” for me is usually some kind of running or cycling event.  As I was rolling ideas through my mind nothing was really speaking to me.  For several decades there was always, always, always was a next big thing.  It’s how I went from running to cycling to duathlon to triathlon to a bit of mountain biking.  There was a national championship, a world championship, and countless amazing races in many states and countries.  But now…nothing is really standing out.  But that’s ok! 

There is one thing that I’ve been asked to do however.  I’ve been asked to run alongside friends going after their “next big thing”.  It seems as though a few friends want to tackle something long, difficult, and arduous and my name has come up in conversation as part of the plan to achieve their goal.  Their big thing is going to be my big thing.

Now I may be qualified because of the races I’ve done but that doesn’t mean I would be successful in translating that into their race.  It is their race after all.  But one thing is constant in endurance sports; there is always a time that you doubt and a time where things are painful.  I’ve experienced that and perhaps guiding someone else through that is a delicate balance of pushing and grace.

Saying “yes” to the next big thing is exciting but it’s also signing up for an eventual hardship.  You know it’s going to be awesome to pursue a goal and crossing that finish line is going to be great but sometimes we forget that there is going to be some serious times of discomfort.  I know this to be true, not just with a running race but for life.  How many times have we signed up expecting high personal satisfaction immediately ahead only to have that get stomped on, tossed aside, and face a reality that maybe things are going to go differently than we expected?

I remember walking away from a career 6 years ago thinking my next big thing was right around the corner.  I needed freedom and needed to hit the reset button.  I was confident that I would just make a slight redirection into something new that would be financially stable, would light me up, and would still give me a chance to be more available for my family.  Silly me thought that the next big thing would be in two short weeks!  What I didn’t expect was the deep dive into making a new Josh was going to take years and it wasn’t going to just scratch the surface; it was going to go deep!  I had signed up for the next big thing out of obedience but forgot the all-too-common realization from endurance sports;  there will be moments of unbelief and of discomfort!

Signing up for that next big thing has never been a mistake but…wow, it sure has been a wild ride.  You see, when you sign up for the next big thing you might think that you are going to conquer that thing without changing yourself.  But I’m very confident that if you sign up for a big thing, that gives God the green light to work ON YOU in a big way, whether you know it or not!

I can’t tell you everything I’ve experienced but I can say that through it all God has been a source of comfort.  Not a source of solving things in my timing or withholding “bad” things from happening.  There are trials and tribulations and often times I just say, “I don’t know”.  But He is, and has been, a source of comfort because I trust Him.  I can’t stop living and I can’t stop trusting.  To not do one of those things is a challenge but truly, what other option is there?  You have to keep moving in small chunks in those “next big things”.

So I have to chuckle a little bit when a friend says they want to do an ultra-distance running event.  Not because I don’t think they can do it…I know they can physically!  But signing up is an awesome responsibility in saying “I’m willing to go to a place and learn more about myself than I ever thought possible.  I’m willing to go to the spot of surrender and lean on God as my Source and Comforter”.  At least that’s how I see it.  It’s putting yourself out there for an eventual crisis of belief.  Not everyone wants to go there.

So what are you uniquely qualified to do in this world?  Did you ever think the “bad times” would be a source to help others in their “bad times”?  Maybe you are uniquely qualified not by your perceived successes but by God’s comfort in the tough times.  Your next big thing could be offering comfort to the uncomfortable…whether they are running or not!

2 Corinthians 1:3-  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

Perfect Strangers

There was a show I watched in my childhood called “Perfect Strangers”.  I remember it revolved around two “strangers” (Larry and Balki) one from America and one from the Greek island of Mypos.  As it turned out they were distant cousins and the whole series revolved around trying to fit and in and function in society with different perspectives and different mindsets.   The two brothers were related but had very different takes on how to navigate life and all of its twists and turns.  Somehow, despite their differences they made it all work.

Have you ever experienced a week of meeting “perfect strangers”?  Maybe you wouldn’t call them “perfect” per se but sometimes you have times that you just have to navigate life and all of its ups and downs with strangers.

I wasn’t thinking about Balki Bartokomous as I was walking along the National Mall with my father.  I wasn’t thinking about much really, just getting us around and to the Vietnam War Memorial so we could see my uncle’s name etched on the granite wall.  We were not exactly fleet of feet on this foggy morning, but it didn’t matter.  There were no crowds and no rush to see the solemn reminder of 56,000 lives lost in a conflict that is still hard to explain.

Across the field and towards the Lincoln Memorial we had some observers.  They saw us meandering across the mall and make the turn towards ol’ Honest Abe’s perch.  As we drew closer, I could tell we were going to get a sales pitch but I wasn’t quite sure as to what!

As we approached, I saw 3 men from South Korea extend a pamphlet towards our hands.  It was written by one my favorite authors and had the numbers 3:16 scrawled across the front.  These men were evangelists and they arrived in America to tell others of Jesus.

Once we politely listened and explained that we did indeed know of Jesus as well we became fast friends. They were excited to find out my dad was a retired pastor.  They were joyful…and then suddenly they became very concerned and proceeded to talk about their home country.  They probably felt like they could skip over the evangelism part since we knew their “main thing”!

The men tasked with telling the good news of Jesus were obviously a bit anxious about the news coming from their homeland.  Politics.  Culture clashes.  Disagreements among families, friends, and strangers alike.  They didn’t like the way things were developing or going.  Things needed to change and quickly!  They grew animated and spoke with passion about the current events in South Korea.

My dad and I stood there and listened.  We didn’t have answers, but we were all the men had for those few minutes.  We were all so different and yet we were together on the National Mall.  We were perfect strangers.

A few days later I met another stranger.  This was an Amish butcher that was recommended to me to process a deer…and as luck would have it my oldest son got a deer on the last day of rifle season.  His phone didn’t answer and the world wide web is useless for a man without a computer so I hauled the deer off and prayed that this mysterious man of God that could make some tasty venison would be in his shop on a Saturday afternoon.

Going off of some directions lodged in my brain I traveled back roads and crept down a dirt lane.  I parked next to a horse and buggy which I thought was a good start.  After peeking my head into a building, I was met with racks and racks of deer bologna which was confirmation that I was at the correct spot!  And soon a man appeared, and we began to chat.

At first it was deer dialogue.  But then as we made some small talk I found out what my new friend was concerned about.  Just like the South Koreans this was a man of faith but of also a man of concern.  There were issues that burned inside of him and a longing to know what I saw in the world.  Did I see what he saw?  Did I feel what he felt?  Culture, politics, family and faith…how did all of this work for this moment of time?

I listened and provided any encouragement I could.  We were so different in many ways but at this moment in time we were together for a reason.  In that moment of time we were perfect strangers.

At this point I was going to write about my new Amish and South Korean friends.  But I met one more stranger that pulled it all together.

As a reward for a hearty workout the boys and I stopped for some drinks at the local 7-eleven.  The boys sped inside while I walked a few feet behind them.  That caught the attention of a young man sitting in a car and when we made eye contact he rolled his window down.

In a few rapid words he asked if I had two dollars.  He also asked if I was married…which I kinda laughed and said happily so!  But he wasn’t asking to find out if I was single, he was asking because the source of his pain, discomfort and perhaps hopelessness was due to his marriage! 

The poor guy had no credit cards, no cash, no ID, nothing.  And he only lived a few miles away but needed some gas.  To be honest he needed more than that but he was asking for fuel.

I obliged and after he moved his car over to the gas pump I began to pump some fuel and pump some questions.  He continued with his super-fast cadence chatting.  He had so.  Much.  To. Process!  He just had to talk but he didn’t know what to do.  I heard that a lot.  He could talk for days but the answers just weren’t coming and his circumstances were just as dire.  We were perfect strangers at this moment of time.

The South Koreans, the Amish butcher, the 20-something young married man all had the same thing going for them.  They grieved in their hearts for something different than what they saw with their two eyes.  The wanted change and desired to experience a change in our culture and world.  Things as they were kinda heavy and disjointed.  Have you ever felt that way?  I sure have.  We have all been there.   We sense a need for change in our lives, our culture, our country, or in our circumstances and it’s just not coming.  Ugh.

After I filled the tank this young man kept talking and wanted to show me his fishing gear.  It was the one thing that he did that brought him peace and was a bit of release from the tension elsewhere in his life.

“Hey have you heard of Jesus?” I asked him?  “Yes sir, I have.” He replied.  I recalled to him how Jesus sought disciples and found quite a few fishing.  It was important for him to keep fishing…not for catching fish but perhaps just to catch a word from God and the peace that He could bring to his spirit.  I think Jesus has a lookout for lost fisherman.

We are not immune to anxiety, worry, or concern due to headlines.  There are things to fret about.  There are always things to rage against, rail against, and grow frustrated about.  Relationships can grow strained and we begin to believe that the world has just lost it’s mind.   You can be a Christian evangelist, an Amish butcher, a young man, or a middle-aged man typing these words and feet that.  None of us are immune to feeling the weight or the world and all of its imperfections.

There’s a comfort in coming across a perfect stranger.  When a perfect stranger listens, it means the world.  A perfect stranger can encourage without saying much at all.  A perfect stranger can show that you are indeed not alone.   A perfect stranger is needed in an imperfect world.

Jesus was the perfect stranger to Peter, James, and John.  Jesus was the perfect stranger to the crippled, the blind, and the lame.  The rejected found acceptance through Him.  The wounded became healed and the hopeless believed when they saw Him.  Jesus is the original Perfect Stranger.  He is sovereign.  He is perfect when none of us could, or can be.

There are times that all of us need a stranger to be with us and share the right words at the right time.  Or the right action in the right posture.  And there are times that we fill that need for others.  God places us in the lives of others despite politics, culture wars, and general unrest in the world.  He is the Perfect Stranger pulling us together and His timing is perfect, His works are complete, and He calls us to Him to make a difference in this crazy world.   The Perfect Stranger is calling.

Nice Calves Bro

The boys and I got gym memberships.  I know, it’s shocking that a family would go to a gym in January!  The reality of our situation is that a gym membership would give us something to do to get through the rest of these winter nights until we have more daylight and chance to rip around outside.

The good thing is that this is a family affair.   Jan teaches yoga there and the boys and I can do gym things.  It’s been a while since I ventured into a gym but it’s not entirely different than I remembered.  There are all kinds of people there doing a variety of exercises to get stronger and more fit. 

Sam and I were doing leg presses when I saw a pair of guys doing calf raises on the squat rack.  After each set I noticed that they would then stand at the mirror and flex their calves to see what all was going on down there.  The process continued; 10 repetitions with the weights and then a good 10 seconds flexing in the mirror.  These were serious guys focused on getting some calves!

I admit I might have slightly rolled my eyes but then I was reminded that this is a gym and the whole point of doing physical exercise is to invoke some kind of change.  These guys were doing crazy reps of calf raises in order to see a change in their calves.  Others might be there to burn calories in order to lose weight.  Some might be there to feel better about themselves.  Or ride a bike faster.  Or meet a new friend.  I don’t truly know all of the reasons but I do know that walking into a gym means you are taking a step for change.  A change of some sort.

I’m also aware that gym attendance plummets next month.  The tendency is to start the year looking for change and then we kind of fizzle out.  We get other priorities or find something else that takes our time.  But there’s also that unmet expectation of change.  Sometimes the change just doesn’t come in the time we allot for it to happen and we give up or just find something else.

I saw the guys flexing for change and thought of our prayers to God.  I sometimes ask God for a change.  A change in circumstances.  A change in what I’m doing or the world around me.  But then I remember that praying is like that gym membership.  You enter into it to change yourself.  Sometimes that’s the thing that needs to change before all of the other things!  Sure, God can change circumstances and does.  But He will change your heart and your thoughts in the process and that leads to a deeper understanding of just who He is and why He’s worthy of our time and worship. 

A membership in God’s gym is signing up for some serious personal change.  Sometimes its slooooow.  I feel that.  Sometimes it’s so fast that you know it had to be God.  You might sense change in areas you didn’t realize you needed change or have a change of heart for someone or something else.  You may find that God doesn’t change others, much to your chagrin, but changes how you look at them.    Trust the process and keep swiping that membership card daily with God so that you put time in with Him and experience change. 

I’ll be curious to see how those guys calves develop with their gym membership.  I’m also curious to see how I develop in an ever-evolving God gym membership.  How about you?  Are you prepared to change?

Run It Back

Jan was immersed in conversation with a new group of friends when the stories started flowing.  There was the mention that we’ve been to Switzerland quite a few times.  We’ve been to Hawaii.  Twice.  Lake Placid, New York?  Four times.  Leadville, Colorado is a place we’ve been 3 times.  We’ve even been to western Maryland more times than we can count!

While it came up in conversation, I don’t mention it to brag.  All of these trips were ways that we’ve traveled to bike races, triathlon races, duathlons, and other assorted athletic endeavors.  While once time to any of these places is enough to have memories of a lifetime there was often a pull to do it again.  That gentle nudge of going back to experience the race again, to pursue the goal, or to improve a performance.  The kids these days call it “running it back” and I totally get it.  Once is awesome but to do it again brings hope and purpose.   There’s a wildness to trying it again and maybe, just maybe, getting the desired result.  And if I’m being totally honest, I learned more about myself “running things back” than if I were to stop after one attempt.

Two guys that made me think of “running it back” were Elijah and Elisha.  You should read about them.  They are mentioned in 1st and 2nd Kings in the Bible and the life they lived was wild.  They had things set on fire, made axe heads float, and called bears to maul their adversaries.  None of this involved riding a bike or running.  But I am fascinated by their tales and the way God used them.  They also were human and relatable…ever feel inadequate and want to crawl into the wilderness?  They can relate.

But over and over again there are references to “running it back”.  So many of their stories revolve around doing something again.  Elijah challenged the prophets of Baal and had them dump water on his offering to God, not once but three times.  God still sent fire and burned it all.  Things happened when they did things over and over.

When Elijah felt like God would end the drought he had his servant check the horizon 7 times for the rain-producing rain cloud.  Seven times!  I would have thought he was crazy after the 3rd time checking.   It was the size of a man’s hand but it ended the drought and Elijah was proven correct!

Elisha followed in Elijah’s footsteps but had to confirm his loyalty and dedication 3 times while Elijah went to different places.  His steadfast dedication to Elijah and his personal mission kept him answering “I will follow” and it’s a good thing he did!  It was a kind of test to keep saying yes.  His blessing depended on it and he was committed to saying yes repeatedly.

Elisha brought a boy back to life after several tries of breathing and laying on him.   Sending a messenger to revive the boy didn’t work.  The first time breathing on him didn’t work either.  But after prayer and a second time the boy coughed and gained his life again.  Elisha ran it back.

He told a leper-ridden general to wash himself not once but 7 times in the Jordan river to be cleansed.  The general thought that would be too easy but reluctantly went and sure enough, the simple act, done repeatedly, healed his skin and built his faith.

These two didn’t have it easy but believed in their personal mission and in God above.  They believed so much so that when things didn’t happen the first time they repeated the process.  Again and again in some cases.  They ran it back in hope, belief, and in trust.

I have gone back to races.  I have committed to putting in the time and training in order to go after a desired result.  Oh how I should commit to praying and acting in faith with the same dedication and fury!  Not giving up when we can’t see the result is quite the endurance sport.

Elijah and Elisha were human but also showed us to not give up after the first try.  Keep praying.  Keep trusting.  Keep at it!  Run it back.  Do it again.  Keep.  Praying. 

A life with God is an endurance sport.  I don’t know why we are surprised at that.  It doesn’t make it easier but the willingness to keep at it and repeat the process is what makes us live a life of faith. 

Don’t stop.  Please don’t.  Give it another go.  Run it back and see what happens.  The story is still being written.  The end could be where you choose to stop but where’s the endurance in that?   Your prize and peace are on the journey of running it back. 

Disppointing Chilli and Frustrating Frosty’s

Quick!  What’s the most disappointed you’ve ever been?  That’s a question that could really open up a can of worms but it was the question posed at the dinner table to our boys. 

The first answer came from Sam.  I was scrolling through my memory trying to think of a time that I really disappointed him.  I could recall many times to be honest but I had a sigh of relief and a good laugh when he gave me his answer.

“I’d say I was most disappointed when you told me I could have chicken nuggets and then you changed your mind and made me eat white chicken chili.”  Phew!  That wasn’t so bad…for me!  But in Sam’s world that was heartache and a catastrophe to go from chicken nuggets to something that didn’t even compute to a favorite food.  We were just hoping to streamline the dinner options and all eat the same thing.  We streamlined it alright, three of us ate something we loved and one suffered in a bowl of chicken, beans, broth, and tears.  It was that bad for him.

We have now renamed white chicken chili to “disappointment chili” in our house.

The same question came my way.  Oh my.  I seem to have a specialty in disappointments but I settled on the time that I spent a night at the hospital, recovering from having my cancer tumor and thyroid removed.  It was hard enough for me to get in a less-than-flattering hospital gown and go into surgery.  Then they push you around in a gurney when I was totally ok to walk.  I was thankful for have surgery to remove some faulty parts but being on a hospital schedule was, well, disappointing.

I dozed off and on throughout the night but was wide awake and ready to go at 8am.  I had to wait until the hospital staff deemed me good enough to go.  So I waited.  And waited some more.  Meanwhile Jan and the boys had their day upended when the snow started to fly.  Their school day went from in-person to virtual.  Jan had a plan to come stay with her husband and then the school day went all crazy so she pivoted and did virtual lesson plans while waiting for me to get the go ahead to come home.

Eventually I got the clearance to leave and I started to stand up to, well, walk out and down the stairs.  If it wasn’t snowing I would have thought about renting a bike from one of those bike share kiosks and ridden home but I thought that would be frowned upon.  Jan was on her way and I was forced to have my butt sit in a wheelchair to take the ride down to the lobby.

Jan pulled up right as the snow was really flying.  Things were really starting to line up on my frustration front because not only was I not allowed to do things like walk, I had to let Jan drive.  In the snow.  On the highway.  Not that she couldn’t, but let’s just say it’s not her sweet spot of comfort.  I relegated myself in the passenger seat and sulked while she navigated the snow.

Once on the highway I realized I was really hungry.  I felt like I endured a lot and wanted something special.  Sam would say chicken nuggets, but I was feeling more like ice cream.  I asked if we could swing by a Wendy’s for a Frosty.  A Frosty would make everything better. 

We decided on which Wendy’s would be best and then I started to reach for Jan’s purse.  It didn’t matter where I reached because it wasn’t there.  I didn’t have my wallet because Jan put it in her purse the day before.  And with the day totally upended with school, virtual school, and a husband in surgery, the purse never made the cut to go to the hospital.  We had no money and with no money there was no Frosty.

I might have sulked some more.  I couldn’t drive, we had no money, and I couldn’t get a Frosty.  A frustration Frosty!  And I had big old scar across my neck. 

So that was my “most frustrating” story I retold at the dinner table.  And it’s really not that bad looking back at it…in fact we all roar with laughter about it.  The truth is whether you have “disappointment chili” or a “frustrating frosty” on your menu it’s really not about who or what disappoints you.  It’s how you deal with it.

People and things can be frustrating.  But God asks us to work with Him to get through the disappointment.  To pin an emotion only on another is to take any heart-working off of us.  I don’t know about you, but I know I need to keep working on my heart.  God knows it too because I sense frustrating things every day that I have to change my attitude, change my perspective, and change my heart with.  It’s not an easy process.  And I can easily say it’s not fair either.  But I keep pedaling and running with God because it’s a process to see things His way.

Today the boys and I were driving around (not eating Frosties) and we started following a truck with a cross in the back window and a bumper sticker that said “F--- (a certain political person’s name).  That was an interesting conversation with the boys.  But in between that back window and that bumper should be a heart that God works with.  Frustration is a real emotion.  How we deal with it says everything about how we see God working in us! 

We all giggle when we talk about chili and Frosties at our house.  The disappointment in those things doesn’t come from the people that forced us to eat chili or the people that couldn’t buy us a Frosty.  The laughs come from realizing we are all on a journey where God’s working on us and we are living together in that process.  We can suffer together and laugh together.  And God will carry that message outside of our house.  I hope he does the same for you and your family. 

Relating by Not Fitting In

I sounded like a broken record, repeating the same story over and over again.  But even though the story didn’t necessarily change the audience did so it was worth telling.

For a few months the talk of my mega-travel summer to compete in running and riding races in Colorado would percolate in conversation.  While I told the story many times I don’t believe I met anyone that wanted to change places with me!  I was uniquely me in trying to pull this off and while others wished me well and even prayed for me, I don’t think anyone wanted to do what I was going to attempt to do.  I was an outlier, a pioneer, a unique middle-aged man doing something highly unusual in the land that I call home.

Fast forward to the starting line of these races and I found myself with a bunch of other crazies.  As unique and perhaps odd as I was back home, I was just another face in the crowd at these races.  It was wild to look around and see so many people that looked oddly the same.  We had all somehow conformed to the competition!

It’s actually not hard to be a conformist.  Leading up to the big mountain bike race I dabbled listening to the podcast devoted solely to this race.  It has thousands of listeners and takes the audience behind the scenes and super in-depth with preparation for this potential life-changing race.  A listener can really geek out on gear, tactics, how to have friends and family support them, and even where to go to eat afterwards! 

All of this info comes from experiences and the latest data surrounding the sport.  It also serves as a way to get many to conform to what is perceived as the “right” way to race. 

I admit, I kind of fell into that trap as well.  Maybe it’s not a trap per se, but it’s pretty convincingly comfortable to know that picking the same tires, having the same hydration pack, and eating the same nutritional items as everyone else will get me to the finish fast.

At the starting line I looked around and sure enough, I was there with many of the same items.  We were cycling conformists!  And then I thought of all the people that I explained my race to in the months prior and how little they knew or could understand the nuances and gear of this sport.  They only knew the distance and the physical toll it would take to finish…and they could barely fathom that!

Truth be told I couldn’t tell you if I needed any of the special gear, specific food, or even a rock-solid support plan.  Really, I just needed a bike and a desire to ride it a lot that day.  The comfort of conformity might have helped me feel like I was ready but it’s certainly not a guarantee for a finish.  And as I found out that day there were opportunities and situations that no one would ever be prepared for; but having a bike and desire to ride allowed me to make memories and eventually get to the finish with stories and satisfaction.

All of this cycling conformity talk made me think of following Jesus.  There is definitely a tendency to conform in order to feel comfortable; just the way I felt at the starting line looking at a bunch of other cyclists that looked and prepared just like me.  I would argue that the only conformity we all need is to conform to following Him.  We are made in his image and likeness, not the world we live in.   That’s difficult, especially when we want to know we are accepted by others, fit in, or want to know the outcome before we start something! 

Sometimes I find myself seeking conformity in anything else first.  The pursuit of conformity can kind of be comforting!  Conformity can be found in a whole slew of things.  There’s comfort in conformity with politics, football teams, and even attending the same building for church, school, or as employment.  But to truly follow Jesus means conforming to Him and His will for you.  Everything else flows from that.

Once I made it back home and started recounting the story of our adventures I realized how conformity at the starting line meant nothing to the people I was talking to.   They couldn’t relate to tire psi or how many grams of carbs I was eating to pedal over mountain peaks.  They wanted a version of the story they could relate to or perhaps be inspired by.  Did you know you can be part of a community and not necessarily experience conformity? 

This is how Jesus wants us to share Him…preach by experiences and actions on a level that people can understand and be encouraged by.  It points others to Jesus for a personal relationship first.  From there our hearts are conformed to His and we may never feel like we belong or fit into the world we are asked to live in each day…and that’s ok! 

Not Finishing Isn’t a Failure

The phrase “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should” came to mind.  I was watching my sons jump their bikes over some pretty decent size mounds of dirt and while it looked fun I thought the risk was just a wee too much for my liking.  I had a lot of responsibilities on my plate in the coming days, including a 105-mile bike ride and a 100-mile run, and while flying through the air seemed like fun it had the potential for a gnarly landing and broken bones.  The boys made it look easy but upon closer inspection the jumps looked like more like a good way to eject my body off a bike seat than anything else. 

You may have jumped the jumps and that’s all fine and good; but that phrase “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should” entered the conversation in other areas besides the bike park.  In fact, I’d say it was the theme for both of the long endurance races I did on consecutive weekends.

Now people enter races for many reasons.  Some race to win.  Some race to finish.  Some race for the medals or trophies.  Some just want the experience.  Most times we race to run OUR race!  Races are personal and the path to them and through them are unique to us.  I have a lot of experiences running races and I’ve grown through all of those experiences.  We tend to run a  race for ourselves and that’s ok!   

Both the 105 mile mountain bike race and the 100 mile run are part of a series in Leadville, Colorado. Leadville, and in particular these races, are tough as nails and require some hearty living.  The town promotes this in the races and there’s definitely a grit that’s personified in completing these races.  There is a lot of banter and encouragement for the athletes to do more than they think they can, to dig deep, and to push harder.  I noticed it’s burnt into the psyche of most participants because I heard a lot of self-talk and motivational jabbering along the race routes.  But just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

So when I was pedaling across the sky in the mountain bike race I found myself in a weird situation.  I saw the leader of the women’s professional field off to the side of the trail, frantically trying to fix a flat tire.  It was my race so there was absolutely a precedent to keep my head down and pedal on.  I had a belt buckle to earn!  But in a moment of weakness or perhaps empathy I pulled over and we started to fix the flat together.  She was a bit hysterical but as I have found over the years that’s not a good tactic when it comes to bike repairs.  It was better to have 4 hands and two heads  in this situation.

We wrestled with her tire long enough for it to hold just a little bit of air and get down the mountain to her crew.  She was convinced her race was over.  I was adamant that in time those women would eventually tire out and come back to her.  She rode off and I packed up my stuff and tried not to think of the 10 minutes I lost trying to fix a tire.  I could have saved those 10 minutes but maybe I wasn’t supposed to. 

The next weekend I found myself at the start of the 100 mile run.  As this day crept closer I became increasingly aware of our time crunch from the point of possibly completing the run to the time we had to be at the airport 2 hours away.  It wasn’t going to be pretty for us to pull off this race, and pack, and drive, then have my family fly while I drove the 28 hours home.  It was a heavy lift.  And that’s beyond the actual running 100 miles!  Just because we could didn’t mean we should!

So as a little change of plans I opted to run with a friend.  And it was great!  I had no firm plans other to take it one mile at a time and serve as another set of eyes, ears, and tackle this monster race with a buddy.  It was awesome to run, to talk about a wide, wide range of topics, and generally see the sights that not many get to see.  He was determined to finish the 100 and I was determined to get him as far as I could.  Could I have run the whole 100 on my own?  Maybe.  Do I have regrets about changing my race to experience something awesome with a friend?  Absolutely not!  Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

We ended up having the race turn into a bit of a survival session with a sprained ankle.  It was good to be together and it was good to get to mile 50 with the feeling we did the best we could with what we had.  There may be another time to finish all 100 miles.  Or not.  I’m not really sure.  But I’m sure that the distance we covered was appropriate, adequate, and awesome.

What you can do versus what you should do.  I’m afraid I’m not always in tune with that!  Are you?  While those races promote grit, guts, and potential glory I’m not sure that’s what we are are called to do…at least all of the time.  To finish the competition you have to finish the race and often times finishing something means leaving others behind.  But just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

These are not stories to give Josh a pity party or get an “atta boy”.  The reality is my life, and your life, are a mission and a ministry.  That can sound “churchy” but the way you live, your choice of words, and the timing of acts and services all tie into this.  We have races to run but those races aren’t about our ability to complete the distance, it’s often how we run the race in the presence of others.  Maybe it’s not about our race and place but more about the difference we make in others along the way.  Your life carries a message and meaning that’s far above the tagline of a high-altitude race series.  You can do a lot- but perhaps not all of what you do is the message you were meant to send!

Often times the pursuit of a fulfilled life mimics those slogans I saw at those races.  It’s inspiring to a point but ultimately we focus on us for all of our strength and all of our meaning.  Some know this and run that race according to their own ideas.  But the reality is we don’t know what God is going to do with us, all the time.   You may sense an area or purpose for a season but it’s also very possible that He will lead you minute by minute into opportunities you never saw coming.  You have to be observant and attentive.  You have to be willing and sometimes stop when the typical response would be to go.   The race isn’t yours to bend to your own will and ideas after all.   Sometimes the race does indeed require guts and grit.  Other times it’s stopping to get others to get out of their grimy situation.  We were all born sinners after all.

This is not a new phenomenon although I keep rambling about it!    I came across the story of Jesus return from 40 days of fasting…you might know the story where the Devil tests him at His physically weakest moment.  Jesus could do literally anything, at any time, but he resists the Devil and even counters his arguments with scripture.  He had a ministry, a purpose, and could do anything He desired that day.  But he didn’t.  He could have done something supernatural and put an end to the Devil’s plan that day, even in Jesus’ vulnerable and weakened state. But Jesus ran a race so others would see and experience Him.  He relied on His Father’s faithfulness, timing, and strength.   There would be more to the story and to just finish things then and there would be to deny the amazing chapters to come and the personal interactions with a thirsty and hungry population.   It wasn’t about winning a race at that time, it was being available so others could run their race with His presence.  Just because He could didn’t mean He should.  It wasn’t time…yet.

Just because you think you can doesn’t mean you should.  Maybe that phrase saved me from breaking a collarbone at the bike park.  But that phrase can allow God to work through you on behalf of others.  Digging deep might get you a trophy but faith in action is a pretty sweet prize as well.

Trailers Follow, Right?

There’s always a point where you take inventory of the things you own and ponder what you really need and where to put all of it.  I had this wrangling of thoughts a few weeks ago when we were finalizing what we were going to pack and take on a family road trip.

The reality is we had a lot of stuff that we wanted to take.  Bikes, paddleboards, clothes, lots of food, and the family dog.  There were things tethered to us that we didn’t want to leave behind but we thought we needed a little more space than our truck allowed.

And that’s when “trailer talk” entered the room and I found myself looking for a trailer to pull behind our truck so we could take everything we desired across the country to Colorado.

Now the trailer is a story in itself, as it’s an old military trailer and not a sleek, cargo trailer.  But all of the trailer-talk, packing, and then observing the sheer number of trailers on the road got me thinking about what all we pack as people and where we place these things that we deem part of us. 

We all carry a lot of things!  These things bring us some identity.  Maybe even a bit of worth.  We can carry a career.  A college degree.  A success story of hard work.  A political party.  An ideology.  Maybe we carry physical looks or the status of living in a certain place.  I really can’t describe all of the things that we could potentially identify with!  And we are all unique and carry a lot of things.  Our trailers can help us relate to some others while probably push others away.   I’d say we all have trailers that carry our uniqueness and individuality.

But my question is, “What are you carrying and where is it?”

When we packed out trailer for a road trip, I took inventory of everything we wanted to take.  Some items I packed deep within the trailer with the hope that I would never need them.  Other things were packed with great care and with a lot of extra protections surrounding them.  Some things, like our clothes and food, rode in the bed of the truck.  Finally, our boys and dog rode in the cab of the truck because they are the most valuable to us!

I think it’s important to pack things with purpose when we live among others.  Having a lot of things is great and brings some diversity to each of us.  But we need to have discernment of what stays close to us and what can go in the trailer.   It would have been pretty awkward to have our boys sit in the trailer and our bikes fill the cab of the truck.  There is a need to prioritize and place the most important things close to us.

Placing the trailer in position is equally as important.  As much as I enjoy the challenge of backing a trailer into tight spaces, I would never consider letting the trailer lead for a long road trip.  It just doesn’t work that way.  It’s not efficient or effective.  This is how we sometimes present our personalities to others when we put the “trailer stuff” out in front and let it be the first thing people see.  When the trailer leads, people are going to notice the contents of the trailer long before the things you keep close to you.

What or who is in the cab with you?  What’s in your trailer?

Having a relationship with Jesus should be the closest thing to you.  He should absolutely get a spot in the cab.  May I even suggest the driver’s seat?  All other things stem from that relationship.  He should not be in your trailer or placed behind your trailer!  Culture, politics, and societal issues should follow Him.  Jesus’ followers, the church, should have him close and frame the world from His guidance, prompting and teaching.

Being a follower of Jesus and keeping Him close should be authentic and real.  It will be twisted and misconstrued at times but to some it’s noticeably different in a positive way!   There are times we put other things closer to us than Him or put a collection of those things in the lead and ask Him to join in to support of our cause.  This shouldn’t be!  Leading with Jesus is better than following a trailer with all of the issues of the world.  Really following Jesus really means seeing the world through His eyes, and that means keep our trailers, and all of their belongings, behind Him.

Go Over, Not Around

A lot of people must like the mountains.  I know this to be true as I found myself sitting in traffic on Interstate 70 in the Rocky mountains.   Behind me were the high, snow-capped peaks.  Ahead of me was Denver.  But all around me were stopped cars, trucks, and campers on their return trip home from vacations in the big mountains of Colorado.

While sitting in traffic is never fun there could be worse places to sit.  Mountains are beautiful.  They are neat to explore and if you make it to the top of one you will probably be rewarded with breath-taking views.

Over the last few weeks or so I’ve had the chance to run and pedal up many mountains, see breath-taking views, and also completely run out of breath trying to make it over them.  I first ran a trail-marathon that included a hike up to a 13,200 foot peak.  The bike race I participated in hit 12,000 feet…twice!  In both cases there were many routes that could have provided a great experience but the course made us go up and over the high peaks. 

As I was getting ready to fly to Denver for the second time in one week I was lamenting being away from home and wrestling with “the why” behind doing all of these events.  I was not going to win.  It was a lot of logistics and uncertainty of how I would pull this off.  There was no financial gain or perceived purpose other than it was a challenge and I felt like I should try it while my heart and legs were still in the game. 

Jan mentioned that it has often been a theme in my life that God takes me over the mountains and not around them.  That’s very fitting for a journey where I will literally be asked to run and pedal over mountain peaks.  I decided that I’d better embrace the journey and pursue the over-the-top mountain experience.  Go up the mountains, Josh.

Now I do realize that not everyone sees a mountain and is inspired to run or ride over it.  But from my little jaunts out to the Rockies I do know that God is calling many to accompany Him in a journey that includes some serious vertical ascension.  They might not realize it but their hearts are being worked, molded, and some good stuff is being drawn out because of this process.  It’s not pleasant…just like running up a 13,000 foot mountain peak!

It would be easy and seemingly manageable to go around the mountains but I don’t think that’s what we are called to do, and people are feeling that too.  You may not see yourself as a high-altitude athlete but chances are that God has you following Him in a journey that is taking you higher rather than around.  Those that avoid the mountains in order to feel a false sense of security are missing out on a bit of misery but also tremendous, tremendous growth.  There’s a reason many races have big mountains because it tests the legs and hearts of competitors.   Mountain-climbing excursions for the soul will strengthen our faith.

While I was in Colorado to participate in these races I entered into quite a few conversations with fellow mountain climbers.  I spent several nights with friends and met their friends and neighbors.  In one conversation the topic of church came up and this family had some wounds from past church experiences.  They poured themselves out only to feel rejected and hurt by a few.   They left the church building, the community they once felt a part of, and ventured down a road that had them seriously doubting everything they once believed.

I sat there as the random guy from Pennsylvania and my heart was saddened.  “Church hurt” is real and I saw a family wrestling and trying to cope with the rejection by people that believe in a loving and caring God.  They were ready to toss everything they once believed to the curb.  They may not have realized it, but they were indeed going up the mountain in this season of their life.

I had a chance to chime in and encourage them to keep their heart open to Jesus but continue to wrestle, wrangle, and work through everything else.  Faith isn’t easy.  People will let you down.  The hurt is real.  But many times faith comes from following God up the mountain.  Anything else is settling and perhaps complacent. 

I didn’t run a marathon that day by avoiding the super steep trail at 13,000 feet.  I had to go up and it was pretty miserable for a time.  Settling and going around that mountain was not part of this race…and that is often the case on the path that God asks us to walk.  Even in the challenge and the thin-air I knew I was on the path to accomplishing something I had never done before.

The next morning I woke up at 1:45am to catch a plane, which meant I had run for more hours than I slept!   This early morning awakening got me to the airport and eventually to my plane, where I was able to snag a seat near the front of the cabin next to a single-mom and her young son.

As the flight took off I entered into conversation with the mom and her son.  We quickly started to chat about video games, which I had really nothing of value to offer.  I didn’t know games, characters, or really anything but I showed interest and that was enough for her young son.  So we kept at it for what seemed like hours.

Along the way his mom lamented life with video games and young kids.  This was a hard path to walk along; it was part of her mountain experience.  Raising a boy on her own and making parental decisions solo is a hard job.

Coincidentally when we landed the little boy’s bladder became full and he was in a full-flight panic to use the bathroom.  We were told to stay seated with seatbelts buckled; but our plane was not moving an inch because we were waiting for a gate to open.  I thought a young boy with an urgent need to use the bathroom might get some sympathy from the flight staff but as I stood up to let him into the aisle I was quickly scolded and told to sit down. 

There were a few tears but that quickly subsided when his mom looked over and gave a giant sigh.  He simply said “I just had to let it go and I feel sooooooo much better!”.    Letting go is apparently part of the mountain-climbing experience and we can be better for it.  I was surprised at how calm the mom was as it was just one more thing to deal with and learn from in her life with a young boy.

Climb that mountain.  Wrestle with the tough stuff.  Contemplate.  Endure.  Keep going but don’t be afraid to let go a bit in the process too.  Living life with God’s leading is gonna involve mountains whether we want it or not!  Don’t be afraid to go over them.

Leadership is Showing Up

God speaks.  Sometimes we hear it.  Sometimes we sense it.  We can be busy or still but the feeling of God revealing His heart to us is awesome.  My concern is that I have sensed God telling me something when I lose a body part.  At this point I love the wisdom and encouragement He provides but I’m not real keen on losing more of what I was born with!

Recently I had my appendix removed in a surprise surgery.  My first thought to stomach pain was that it was the stuffed-crust Pizza Hut pizza that I consumed on a Friday evening.  But by Monday I was feeling a sharp pain not associated with too much cheese and grease.  One thing led to another and the next thing I knew I was lined up for a surgery to remove my appendix.

Last year I had my thyroid and cancerous tumor removed.  I lost those things successfully but gained a new appreciation of what surrender looks like.  Surrender is not a popular term nor one that we think of in the positive but I had to get there in order to know who was in charge and who had plans for my life.  Newsflash!  It’s not me!

This year I lost my appendix but the loss of that revealed a statement that put my recent life of working with teenagers as a substitute teacher and coach into context. 

We crave leadership but settle for management.

I had my appendix removed around 5pm.  By 7:30 I was on my way home.  Upon my return to our house I plopped down on the couch and started to reflect on the day with Jan and our boys.  That’s when I discovered that my IV port was still jabbed in my arm.  I was slightly annoyed and while Jan called the hospital to tell them of my predicament, I knew I would have to return.  I could pull it out myself but…the hospital needed to finish their job and assume the liability.

So, I put my sweatshirt on and drove myself back in to the hospital.  I walked into the emergency room and tried to explain my predicament to the staff.  They were skeptical at best and told me to take a seat and wait a few minutes.  But I persisted and eventually I got the attention of a nurse that took me back and finished their job.  I had to show up in order for things to be completed the right way.

The next day we had our first track and field meet.  I was up, moving pretty good, and felt fine to go fulfill my job as head coach.  So I went to the meet and restrained from doing something stupid, like running or bending over, but I did fulfill the position of chief encourager and coach!

Typically as track meets go along and the events start to stack up and fatigue starts to hit the legs you can expect some doubt to creep in the mind of a teenager.  Running can be really, really difficult.  But the rewards can be plentiful and meaningful.  But there is always that moment when managing the pain and discomfort seems better than pushing into an unknown.

At this meet I had no other tricks up my sleeve to coach other than 3 glued-together wounds on my belly.  I didn’t think of it this way but my “just showing up” was the best teaching tool and leadership advice I could provide.  Any excuse from a runner to not run paled in comparison to their coach that had surgery less than 24 hours prior.  An excuse of tired legs didn’t measure up to losing an internal body part and then walking around a field trying to extract a little more from coachable kids.   Leading by showing up was better than managing.

I’m guilty of settling for management when I truly desire leadership.  In my little coaching example I could have managed their requests and used a lot of different techniques to coach.  I could yell.  I could instruct how to stretch.  I could show a lot of empathy and let them rest.  But for whatever reason God gave me a story, and physical capacity, to lead by showing up.   My story of being there after surgery was the leadership example that the kids needed to see.  Do the hard things!  Get comfortable doing uncomfortable things!  You are here so you might as well run!  I didn’t realize it at the time but just showing up was better than anything I said that day.  I couldn’t tell if it was stupidity or a sign of success that I was there after surgery to be honest.

Faith is this way.  Even though we can manage and plan your life we need to consider if we should be led instead.  We can follow the qualified that have perceived solutions or a hope that we desire.  We can be lured into a false sense of security with our minds, our wealth, or our position and status.  But I think we truly, truly want to follow leadership that functions in our faith life.  That’s Jesus.  We need hope.   We need something to live for and someone to follow, because managing what we see, what we have, and what we want doesn’t take us very deep into our God-designed purpose.

This is the case for faith and the case for Jesus.  Jesus is a leader.  He confused the seemingly-qualified of his day.  He was a leader by showing up and being an example without being slick, promotional, or all-knowing.  People were attracted to Him because he truly functioned as the Messiah they had been told about and was available.  Others couldn’t stand him because he functioned that way!  But the function of His leadership brought them out in droves and followed him everywhere He went.  And after the cross He is everywhere we go.  He is a Savior that stands above systems.

I truly believe that our culture is hungry for leadership that is simple and relatable.  We need Jesus and he’s there in the most practical way possible…He is available always.  He’s not in your heart to manage but to lead.  And hopefully you won’t have to give up a body part to realize that!

Blob-Life

Do you remember doing a science experiment?  I sure do!  Now that our boys are rolling through school I have had the pleasure of watching them wrestle with a topic, creating a hypothesis, and then conducting the experiment.

The problem is that their passions often need adult supervision.  And finances.  Sam wanted to test the miles per gallon of our Jeep with the top on and doors on versus all of those items off.  So that cost a tank of gas and a few hours of time.

Levi has a different passion.  He’s very much into hunting and firearms.  He loves the ballistics and mechanics of guns; in a healthy way!  So with the blessing of his school administrators he set off to study the flight patterns and characteristics of different .22 caliber bullets.

I thought I was supervising but God showed up at the gun range and that’s where this little story came from.

Levi set up his rifle 10 yards from the target.  At first we thought the stars of the show were the different rounds.  We had 5 different bullets with different grain counts and shapes.  These were the things Levi was focused on because, well, they were more interesting!  They were the things that cracked and zipped through the air.  They were the things doing the damage. They were cool!

On the other end of the 10 yards was the target.  It was a big blob.  An intentional blob called “Ballistic Gel”.  It was a 6 inch by 6 inch by 16 inch block and it was going to stop, slow down, and absorb all of the bullets we were about to fire.

We first tried to make the ballistic gel but that didn’t work out so well.  We needed the tried and true thing that was battle tested and true to its intended function!  So we ordered the block and now it sat, down range, and ready to take the heat!

Now I don’t know about you but I know I’d rather be a bullet than a blob.  That’s what I thought at the beginning of the experiment anyways.  And as Levi pumped round after round into the blob he made my case.  Bullets were zinging!  They were on target!  They were changing whatever they came into contact with!  Why wouldn’t you want to be a bullet and adopt the bullet way of life?!

After the smoke cleared we walked towards the block for further inspection.  We could see where each round entered the block of gel.  There were wounds.  We could see the pathway through the gel because the bullets left their mark. 

A few bullets entered the gel but were stopped.  Some changed their path upon hitting the gel.  All changed shaped.  A few made it the whole way through and left exit wounds.  Not one bullet stayed the same upon meeting the gel.  And as far as I know they all eventually stopped and became inactive.  Lifeless.  Expired.

So I’m watching Levi be all science-y and inspecting the bullets and their trajectory and end result.  But I can’t help but see the ballistic gel and how it absorbed the shots.  The bullets were the focal points at first but the gel…the gel!  Its being, it’s story, is something to behold!

The longer we went on checking out the results the more the ballistic gel healed.  The entry points and exit points were less noticeable.  The block still held its shape and was undeterred by 5 rounds of .22 bullets zipping into and through it.  And to this day the ballistic gel is still a block!  It contains the remnants of bullets and some visual evidence but it’s still a big blob…and that’s the real story!

While you and I may rather be the bullets than the blob I have to tell you that after seeing the evidence of bullets and the ballistic gels resistance to them I want to be more like the latter.  My thinking is the reverse of what made sense before the experiment.

This is not a new phenomenon but it’s one that has to be told over and over in order for people to see it.  You see, God was at the gun range with Levi and I.  But His story didn’t involve bullets and ballistic gel but rather nails and flesh.  Nails were supposed to change anything they came into contact with; that’s why people of the day gravitated towards using them to nail Jesus to a cross.  Here in 2024 we may think the “bullet mentality” is where we want to align ourselves but long ago it was the “nail mentality” that was appealing to people.  The needed to hammer those nails to inflict damage, snuff out a revolution, and get rid of a rebel rouser!

But Jesus was the ballistic gel of the day.  He offered no solution that was temporary and a one-time use like a nail or bullet.  He was the stable gel; His body would absorb the hits but remain intact and in shape.  He would show wounds but by Gods grace they were healed. He took the hits and despite everything thinking he was gone forever he came back!  His gift endures forever.  The nails do not.

Levi wrapped up his experiment and has all kinds of data and photos from the day.  But God offered a fresh perspective…it’s ok to be blob like!  Receive that!  What is temporary, or single-use, or even meant to change your life will not destroy you.  Jesus knows that feeling and has the scars on His hands and feet to prove it.  He’s been there.  And don’t be tricked into thinking living like a bullet is the best.  It’s not.  You are more than one shot that will be destroyed after one use.  You are meant to be a blob of gel in Christ!  Let Him heal you and then tell the story to others because there are many, many others that started out as a bullet but feel like they are now the target. 

Bullets and Ballistic Gel.  Nails and our risen Savior.  Both stories started with a hypothesis but ended with a very different story and hero.  And thank God for that!

The Original, Not the Multitool

I could call it the “tool trudge”.  It’s the walk from our house to our detached garage, usually with a handful of tools in my hand.  It’s a walk to return the tools to their place after somehow finding their way into the house for some random projects.  It’s not a far walk but it’s one of those that makes you think twice.  Or maybe I should lobby for a second tool chest in the house! 

I blame multitools for this.  Sometimes it’s my fault that tools from the garage find their way into the house.  Sometimes it’s our son’s fault!  But all of us agree that our frustration with multitools is what drives us to use the real tools that are in the garage.

Inside the house are lots of hobby items and small things that could use work.  Our son Levi got on the multitool kick a few years ago and has a few that he keeps at the ready.  These multitools have a ton of neat features and fold up into a small package.  They proclaim to have 30 or more tools for your enjoyment and work…all you have to do is figure out how to open the contraption up and work it without severing your hand, puncturing your palm, or stabbing some skin.

To make a multitool work they use much smaller versions of the real tools.  Things are shrunk down to fit.  Things are slender, fold up, or call for assorted bits to be used, which means more small parts to keep track of.  But fear not!  There is usually a nice carrying case so you can take it all with you.  To get everything to fit requires adaptations of the original design.

The frustrating part is that none of the tools really work as well as the individual item.  And that’s why we make the tool trudge out to the garage to get the real item.  The multitool is a tool of last resorts.  We typically leave just the pliers or the screwdriver out because it’s the one tool that we can count on to use the most.  And to be honest, I have a hard time figuring out how to fold it up to access another tool.  The other items are just along for the ride!

Out in the garage our tools live in a bigger kingdom.  They have an independent life where they are not pinned together with others but they still live among the other tools.  They have a specific design and purpose.  Screwdrivers drive screws.  Hammers hammer.  Saws cut.  It’s simple and effective and everyone lives under the roof of the mighty kingdom of the tool chest.  The individual design of a tool resides in the company of others that have their own unique purpose.  It’s community without being modified to be fit and pinned together with others.

That’s a lot of tool talk to get to a point of people, what we are tethered to, and who we serve.  It’s been in my heart and mind for years that far too often we are quick to sell out into a multitool lifestyle rather than embrace the freedom of being a tool in God’s tool chest.  

Being in community is important.  I think we all crave that to a point.  But sometimes that longing to be among others comes at the expense of not following through on God’s will for our lives.  As long as we are in the community that’s enough.  We lose our independence of being dependent on God and replace it with a comfort of being accepted and pinned together with others.   

It’s pretty sneaky, this multitool life.  Lines are being drawn and rosters are being made every day.  You can be lumped into others with the same political posture.  Or with others that fight the same cultural battle.  Maybe you put your favorite football team as the most important thing to be tethered to.  It can be a school, a town, or a part of the country that pulls and provides the exclusive community we seek.  It could be a social club or even a certain place of worship.  Even churches can turn into a multitool.  We can give up a lot by settling for the multitool life.  We can lure others into that decision without even realizing it as well. 

It shouldn’t be this way.  The kingdom of God is a big place.  That’s the community.  It’s a level above the flags we wave for our other communities.  Every group, every bunch, every system falls under the big Kingdom.  Our residence is in His big tool chest, among all the other tools!

We are an independent bunch with a mighty purpose and design.  We are fearfully and wonderfully made.  The tool chest is the community, not the scaled-down and neatly packaged.   Some tools need the other tools to show them how important their design and function truly is. 

I’m not a Biblical scholar but I can see how many groups wanted Jesus to serve them and only them.  They wanted Him to jump on the multitool concept so as to give them credibility.  But He didn’t.  He came for all of mankind.  That’s pretty wild!  Some choose to follow and some don’t.  But many wanted Him to commit to their group and leave others behind.  He would be an asset to their multitool if he joined them and a threat when He didn’t.  He was a big tool chest guy, that Jesus!  He knew the kingdom he served and it wasn’t just the communities that were already packged together.

I like the engineering of a multitool.  It’s a modern marvel and a testament to an engineering mind that so many things can be packaged together.  But it’s a complex system and sometimes so frustrating it’s better to take the tool trudge out to the garage kingdom for the specific and reliable tool. 

You are part of the tool chest.  You’ve been invited to take residence there.  It’s a big place.  When you see things from that perspective it changes all of the communities that fall under it.  Our place of purpose is in the hands of the One that made us.  He uses us to change the communities we find ourselves within.  We are in His hands first and foremost.  Everything on earth can change; the politics, the communities, the social groups, the churches, and even our favorite football teams, when we align ourselves with Him first.  The toolbox is not absent of community, it IS the community!

Fish Thieves and the Eagles Tree

I never knew Jan and I would be bird watchers, but we have a few that we especially look for in our travels.

The first one is out of spite.  That might sound odd considering some watch for birds for a hobby and generally like to see birds out in nature.  But we have a special, and expensive, bond with Blue Herons.  Some think they are fascinating, peculiar, and maybe neat.  We think they are mooches and thieves!

When we bought our house we also inherited a small fish pond.  It was a novelty; I never thought I would be a fish pond-er that tended to fish in my precious spare time.  But there I was, trying to keep fish alive and the pond somewhat clean.

We decided that what we really needed was some new fish.  So we bought a neat Koi fish and introduced him to our mountain life and gave him a home.

The problem with our little cabin in the woods was that it was very close to a popular trout-fishing creek and another smaller stream.  And where there are fish there are birds looking for an easy lunch!

One morning I nearly dropped my coffee cup when I saw our new Koi fish hanging out of the mouth of a Blue Heron.   That crook was standing in our fish pond and made quick work of our expensive hobby fish.  The nerve!  He stood there all regal and elegant and swallowed our pet down in one easy motion.  Sigh.  In a battle of man versus nature I was losing to a bird with fragile looking legs and a big beak. 

This guy came back to our fish pond every day for a week, looking for something easy to eat.  Our fish pond was fully stocked and the finding of lunch was far easier than hanging out at the creek all day, looking and waiting for a meal to swim by.  The little pond, the big fish, and the ease of catching the fish made all of the wild leave a wild bird.  Our Blue Heron “buddy” was lured into a life of pursuing the easy rather than living on the wild side.

Eventually our fish pond was empty and the Blue Heron had to resort back to a wild life of hanging out the creek.  We see Blue Herons quite frequently down at the stream and while they appear to be wild I always think back to the Blue Heron Bandit that ate our fish and kept coming back for more.

On the other end of our bird-watching fascination lies the Bald Eagle.   Jan found this guy while walking on a backroad near our house.   He was perched high in a tree, overlooking his kingdom and taking inventory of everything that was going on.  Even at a distance you could sense his strength and power just through his posture and different look.  There was something about his white head and stoic stance in a tree that was fascinating. 

Every walk Jan would come home and tell me of her Eagle sighting and her thought that if she saw the eagle that all was well in the world.  He wasn’t a thief or a free-loader like the Blue Heron!

I started running the same road and hoped to catch a glimpse of the eagle.  He was more rare to find than any other bird.  You would get the sense that He was around but you wouldn’t always see him.  But you just knew that he had his eyes on the territory around us!

We found the eagles nest in the middle of a field.  It would be nearly impossible to walk to this tree, its surrounded by marshy muck and it’s far away from anything that could be a threat or hinderance to an eagle’s survival.  It’s a secret place but the nest is HUGE!  You can tell that its designed for a lot of eagles to be raised, instructed, and nurtured there…but you have to be an eagle and do eagle things.

The blue heron ate our fish 10 yards from our kitchen.  An eagle would prefer to be 10 miles from any human.  We loved seeing the eagle from a distance and have had a few chance encounters with them at a closer distance.  But never for long…they don’t like the spot light and they certainly won’t give you the time to fumble around with your phone to take a picture.  They are wild!

Last week we were driving and one was in the middle of a dive-bomb towards the field to our left.  The speed and size of a bald eagle is amazing!  It was just feet from our windshield and we had an upclose view of the sheer strength and size of this bird.  It’s one thing to see an eagle sitting in a tree with it’s wings tucked and folded, but to be in the presence of one in full flight, in all of its wild-ness with its wings extended is captivating.  You want to be around an eagle.  You want to have eagle-like tendencies as a human! 

My concern is that too often we live like that Blue Heron at our fish pond.  We settle.  We lose our natural ability and desire to do the hard things and the things we were born to do.  We are less wild and more ritualistic.  We trade the spontaneity for the programmed.  It took one day for our Blue Heron friend to ditch the wild life of hunting fish in a wide creek for the ease of catching a family fish in a 10 foot fish pond.  Imagine all of us with weeks, months, and years of settling for a life of ease on our own terms.

The eagle life is something different.  It’s sometimes isolating.  It’s not drawn to crowds.  Even with the tremendous strength an eagle has most have no idea because an eagle doesn’t broadcast its strengths!  An eagle lives in a nest that’s hidden, away from distractions.  It’s a secret place that an eagle goes to grow and be sustained.  A lot happens in that nest but not everyone knows about it.  And when the eagle is out and about it does its thing without fanfare.  But to see an eagle in full flight and with their strengths exposed…wow!  It’s beautiful.  It’s captivating.  It’s wild and wonderful, not programmed and half-hearted.  Only eagles “eagle-ing” can do those things. 

The eagle life and the blue heron.  I love seeing them both in the wild.  One stays wild while the other can easily be swayed to give up its freedom for a perceived easy living! 

Be an eagle, friends!

Words for the Weak

I signed up for a few running and cycling races next summer.  While it’s a bit daunting physically I think I have spent a lot of mental energy wrapping my head around all that I’m asking my body to do.  Here’s the rundown of what I signed up for; they are all part of a series and encompass what’s known as “Leadman” in Leadville, Colorado.

June 28th-  Trail Marathon (run)

July 6th-  50-mile Mountain Bike

August 10th-  100-mile Mountain Bike

August 11th-  10k Run

August 17th-  100-mile Trail Run

So you can see that I have my work cut out for me with miles of running, riding, and endless climbing up and over the Colorado mountains.  It will be a physical test, mega-mental exercise, and a challenge logistically and nutritionally.  I want to finish all of those events and then I want to eat a lot of ice cream.

But as this challenge looms in the distance and I diligently put one foot in front of the other I have a theme that keeps providing insight into my approach.  I hope you will sense the same comfort and even excitement, even if you don’t plan on traversing the Rockies by foot and wheel this summer.

“My grace is sufficient” is the phrase that gently works its way in my approach for these events.  Credit goes to Paul, who wrote these words long ago in 2 Corinthians.  He wrote about a “thorn in his side” that he was desperate to be released from.  It’s unclear what exactly that was but it could have been an illness, a disease, financial burdens, a tough relationship, or maybe he just had a really, really, long hike to another town that he was torn up over.  He wasn’t immune to hardships and just off the top of my head I know he was whipped, beaten, imprisoned, survived a shipwreck, and bitten by a snake.  He had every reason to plead for this life to get better.

But God answered with the first part of an important two part statement; “my grace is sufficient”.  I like that.  It means that I don’t have to conquer the world, my life, or even some silly endurance sport events by my own power. 

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last few years it’s that we can’t control the outcome.  Sometimes troubles come in bits and pieces and sometimes they come in relentless waves.  We can ask God to remove them and sometimes He does.  And other time we finally come to the end of our rope and we are willingly held by the God that extends His grace. 

When it comes to endurance sports there is a tendency to “own it” and just do more, and more, and more. Test the limits of our endurance and capacity.  We plan and scrutinize and execute.  You may feel that in the business world.  Or as a parent.  Or whatever circumstance you are in.  Grace doesn’t enter the equation because we think it all depends on us.

We become a thorn in our own side.

God told Paul that His grace is sufficient.  It’s an interesting word when I’m running and riding and trying to coax a little more fitness from a 46-year old body.  I don’t have to beat myself up in order to get to where I’m going, because if God is in it He will guide my steps to get there.  I just have to be diligent in looking, following, and putting my feet in that direction.  I’d rather run and ride in worship than see it all as grind-it-out work.

The second part that Paul mentions is how incredibly weak he is.  He doesn’t boast in his own strength; circumstances have long taken that bit of pride away from him.  But God says His power is made perfect in weakness.  Wow.  That’s counter cultural if I’ve ever heard something!  Imagine saying we are weak as a positive.  We spend a lot of time crafting ways to not portray a weakness or planning only the positive!

Abundant grace and acknowledging we are weak are not exactly key resume words or things you would normally broadcast to strangers.  But the more we endure in life the more it makes total sense.  The longer we go the more it provides comfort.  Grace has been given, freely, and we don’t have to struggle in our sin.  We don’t have to own every outcome.  We don’t have to sink in our sorrows and beat ourselves over what we aren’t.  Our weaknesses are there as an invitation to allow God to work in us and for us.  Our perceived strength isn’t enough but as Paul says, when we are weak then we are strong.

I have a lot of questions about these races and how it will go.  I can’t see every step between here and there but I can say that each step to get there is fueled by grace and an acknowledgement that I’m actually pretty weak in my own ability.  That’s probably a good attitude and hope to carry in any situation in life as well. 

Dude, Do You Partake?

We were just two dudes hanging out, checking out the scene, talking about life and sharing some laughs.  I didn’t know this guy until he took notice of my family rolling into the hotel driveway after a day’s travel.  The paddleboards strapped to the roof, the two small boys, and the enormous dog lumbering into a hotel were apparently interesting enough for my new friend to start asking me questions.

It started innocently enough.  He wondered where we were surfing in Connecticut.  I had to explain that were not surfer dudes or surfer dudettes…these were paddle boards that we actually stood on and meandered around calm lakes, not big waves.   And we were only passing through Connecticut; we were on our way home from Maine and needed to stop for the night since we got a late start.

After that initial question about surfing in Connecticut we drifted into talk about his military service, his family in Virginia, and shared some laughs.  Then he asked his second question.

“Well brother, do you…do you partake of the doob?”

It was a good thing I had sunglasses on because my eyes got real big.  In the time between his first question and last we must have had a pretty good time because now he wanted to share a joint with me.  Marijuana.  Wacky tobaccy.  I didn’t see that coming but it made me laugh because I was just a dad trying to navigate his family home from vacation; plus I wouldn’t know how to “partake” anyways!  My friend had me pegged as a cool surfer-dude that would share a cannabis cigarette in a hotel parking lot.  I didn’t know if I should feel flattered or afraid!  To each their own but I wasn’t looking to smoke some marijuana to wrap up the family vacation.

But truth be told the space and conversation between the surfboards and the marijuana was the most meaningful.  That’s where I learned about his military service.  He told me about his injuries and struggles when he retired.  He mentioned being emotionally hurt after serving and being told “it wasn’t worth it”.  He was traveling on the road too but was rolling solo.  When you heard a bit about his story you could see how he might look to something, anything, to lessen the pain.   Take away the pain.  Or simply forget about it for a little bit.  He had been through a lot.

I politely declined my opportunity to partake of the doob but I was glad for the opportunity to make a friend and maybe, just maybe, give him some hope that would last longer than a cigarette. 

As followers of Jesus we are to be in the world but not to be of the world.  It’s good to be on guard with things that aren’t from God when we are set on following Him.   But as my buddy in the hotel parking lot said through his many stories; the world can really beat us up.  It’s hard.  It’s brutal.  None of us can get through unscathed or blemish-free.  It’s easy to look down when we should be looking up.  I have no idea for smoking was to cope or if he just enjoyed it…but he was fine with my decline as well.

This little story of a wounded veteran, a road-weary dad, and some marijuana has very little to do with the marijuana.  That debate will always rage on; should it be legal?  Should it be banned?  Should we have more laws?  Why can’t it be more available?  There will always be those that want more rules and regulations and those that want everything to be permissible.   And to dwell on the issue of marijuana is to miss the point with what God had me doing that day.

Standing there under the porch of a hotel showed me that we can stand firm on our principles but stand in the middle for people.  Standing in this case means that you care enough for them to listen, to talk, and to encourage without dropping the hammer of judgement.  God gets to do that, we are there to point them in His direction so they can take the steps God desires for them.  I politely declined his offer but we still had a good talk and a great handshake.

Standing in the middle might sound a bit mushy or non-committal.  But as I was reminiscing about this story I remembered that Jesus stood in the middle many times.  He hung on the cross and gave two thieves a way forward.  One received while one did not.  It was their choice but his place in the middle gave them the chance to make a decision.

He stood in the gap when humanity needed a way to get beyond our sin.

He stood in the middle between the crippled, the possessed, the weak, the mute, and the dead and their new life on earth. 

We all crave a bit of community.  It’s not good to be alone.  And jumping to a side of an issue, a lifestyle, or a movement is one way to find a community.  But it alienates anyone else that might think differently.  We live in a time where we tend to wave the flags of causes, politics, and even nations before leading with being a son or daughter of God.  It’s good to have values and discernment about God’s will for your life; it’s a blessing to come up alongside someone else in the mushy middle to make a friend and show them God’s love.  Part of surrendering to God is the freedom to be used for others that need a friend in odd places and difficult circumstances.   

You can decline to partake but still be a friend and have influence.  You just have to be in the mushy middle.

Know No-Outlets

We knew exactly where we were going, even with a “no outlet” sign penetrating the dark night with a highly reflective warning.   It was a shortcut.  Sam was my co-pilot and he wasn’t asking any questions as we zipped by the sign, he just sat there and waited to see it all play out because he had been down this road before with his Dad.

Despite the “No Outlet” sign broadcasting the…no outlet path before us, we kept on rolling along.  And we weren’t the only ones!  To my surprise there were 3 cars in front us all barreling towards the outlet that didn’t exist.  I wondered if the others knew the road or just hopped on it because they were desperate to find any way out of town.

All of us were attempting to get out of town quickly.  A small town near us had its annual Halloween parade, where Sam was a participant.  They call it a parade but it’s more like a marathon, a test of endurance for both participant and spectator.  It’s loooooong.  But it’s a parade done well and quite a spectacle with what seems like over half the town in the parade. 

As the parade wound down the streets quickly became jammed with tractors, floats, sports teams, and spectators in vehicles trying to find a way out of town.

After Sam fulfilled his mission we quickly ran across town and jumped in the truck.  It didn’t take long for me to recap the parade route in my mind and compare it to the roads that I needed to be on in order to get home.  There weren’t many options.   Having a horse would have been a pretty valid vehicle choice in this situation.  Or a helicopter. 

But as my mind rolled through all the options to go home, I remembered one way that would be…unconventional.  So that’s the direction we headed.

Not long after turning onto the road that was marked with “no outlet”, an oncoming small truck slowed to a crawl and the driver frantically waved us down.  This poor fella found out that the road was indeed a road to almost nowhere and he wanted me to know.  “The roads out up there!” he excitedly told me, to which I replied “I know!” and kept on trucking.  Sam thought this was hilarious.  Why would anyone know a road has no outlet and yet still motor on down the road?

There was a crisis when the road ended.  This is where the vehicles in front of me came to a screeching halt and the realization that the sign was indeed true.  There was no outlet; just a private driveway and a creek.  Game over, case closed, retreat!  Each car made a 3-point turn and roared back the way they came.  They obviously had not been here before.

But we weren’t done because I had been in this spot before.  I had gone down this road, under different circumstances, and discovered that there was a way out.  The no outlet sign was a warning but not the end of the road.  There was no need to turn around.

Have you ever gone down this road?  Not this literal road but the one where your destination seems to be down a no outlet road?  Have you endured seemingly endless dead ends?  Your desire may be to get to a fresh start, a new thing, a better way, but all you see are the signs and people saying to turn around, to retreat, or to settle.

I’m not telling you to avoid wisdom and discernment and ignore everything…but certainly I’m telling you to follow God when it he tells you to go with Him.  He doesn’t care if the sign says “no outlet” because He’s a better sign, and way, maker!  Not all man-made signs are believable; why else would 3 cars continue down a road that had no outlet?  There was hope that there would be a path forward even with the sign telling us otherwise.  We all have varying degrees of questions and hope and are willing to go down paths to truly find the answer!

Sam and I watched the cars make their change of directions and then we pulled into a smaller dirt road, also marked with a dead-end sign.  But immediately after seeing the sign the moon’s reflection hit the water and that was the point where Sam knew exactly where he was.  Giggles ensued.   I switched into four-wheel drive and we poked along, through the shallow creek and onto the other side where a paved road and home awaited.  There was indeed a way.

I am no stranger to dead ends and no-outlets.  Perhaps you have felt that way in your journey as well.  But it doesn’t mean the story ends there.  Don’t stop pursuing God and following his lead.  Even if it seems like a dead end there is something there.  Hopefully we have all felt God at work and recognized His handiwork in our lives.  Don’t forget that.  That’s what carries us through the naysayers, the no-outlet signs, and quite honestly the doubt that lives in between our ears!

We aren’t the only ones.  It’s a theme directly from the Christmas story.  Joseph had faith and followed God.  But he also had a crisis.   He had his wife-to-be, Mary, but there was a problem with marrying her.  She was expecting a child and he had nothing to do with it.   That scenario was a good reason to believe the “no outlet” signs in Josephs life.  He didn’t see a way out or a way forward even being a guy that thought he was faithful and obedient to God.  What a conundrum.

Before he could quietly divorce her and move on with life God provided a way through the perceived dead end.  And thank goodness He did, because Joseph’s decision to keep going, and God’s faithfulness, gives us hope for our future and forgiveness for our sins.  An angel visited Joseph and told Him to keep going, what God was up to, and to be the husband that Mary needed and the father that Jesus would need.  God gave Him a way forward and Joseph kept going.

Dead ends and no-outlets are real downers if we let them define us.  But God hasn’t abandoned us nor are those signs the end of the road.  We can choose to remember the times when God provided and He created a way.  He did it for Joseph; who became the earthly father for a boy whose name means “God with Us.” 

He’s with us.  Then, now, and always.  Keep going.

Group Rides and Snub Clubs

Have you ever belonged where you didn’t fit in?  Now that might be a mind-bending question or simply one that doesn’t make sense, but I hope you can relate.  Sometimes we find ourselves in places we are supposed to be but it’s without the security of fitting in.  Fitting in first doesn’t always mean we are where we need to be, after all.

When I bought my first road bicycle I knew I found something special.  I loved it!  It was special to pound the pedals and go fast.  But I needed some help, maybe a mentor or two, to show me the ropes. 

I heard about a local group that would meet and ride on Tuesday and Thursday nights.  So I decided to show up and test my legs against some more experienced riders.

I knew the time and location of the ride; but what I didn’t know was “the look” of what experienced cyclists portrayed.  Once I found the parking lot there were many expensive bikes.  There was a lot of fancy equipment.  Everyone was clad in lycra and used vocabulary I wasn’t familiar with.  I had a very-used $250 bicycle, some Umbro soccer shorts, and a plain white t-shirt.  I didn’t even have a fancy helmet.  But apparently I had a reason to be there despite not looking like the others.

Over the next 2 hours I found myself learning a lot while pedaling much harder than I ever had before.  I would do my best to figure out what in the world was going on because there appeared to be a rhythm and reason guiding all of these cyclists down the road.  We rode single-file, and everyone would spend a little time at the front before turning off to let the next rider lead.  I had a lot to learn but there were some very gracious people that turned this t-shirt wearing amateur into a professional dream chaser.

That first ride turned into a passion and I became stronger and a bit more speedy.  But the friends from that first ride brought me along, either by riding just in front of me when I needed a break or just behind me when I became stronger.  They helped me find my way on a bike.

It’s a good thing I didn’t let the optics of that first group ride define the potential I had.  And it’s also a good thing that there were people that pushed and pulled along the way to guide me despite not having the right gear or speaking the right lingo.

In the years since I’ve done many group rides and they all have a different feel.  Some can be pretty exclusive; they are more competition and less about community.  They are fast and you either have it and can stay with the group or you don’t and you fall back and form a new group.  These aren’t bad if you are very competitive in nature and are looking for it.  But it’s not a place that everyone can belong.  It makes me chuckle when my friends will call these rides the “snub club” because…well, there are many that will never fit in due to all the accelerations and fast pacing of the ride.  You could easily feel like you belong at the beginning but not have the legs to belong at the end!  I admit, sometimes these exclusive, super-fast rides can mess with your mind because it draws comparisons and either a feeling of belonging or inadequacy.

A few years after my first group ride and while I was still gathering experiences, my bike-shop owning friend told me something that was a compliment but a little embarrassing to tell.  He told me that God gave me a gift of making a bicycle go fast.  Now a lot has changed since then, especially my speed, but that perspective of having a unique God-given gift has not.  Do you know what some of your God-given gifts are?

With that gift in mind it’s fascinating to see how it was developed.  It never came from a place of belonging on the front-end; it came with the initial feeling of not belonging!  But the people that I got to know read my situation and pushed me.  Pulled me.  They unlocked things that I never knew I had.  And apparently I became pretty good at it!

You might be walking around not sure what your God-given gift is.  Maybe you think it’s really odd that I consider wearing lycra and pedaling a bike a God-given gift!  But if you are at all considering that God has given you a gift then you already have it.  You have God in your life!  That’s tremendous! 

Knowing the existence of God and the gift that is Jesus means a lot, but it brings a responsibility that mimics my early bicycle group ride days.  The gift that is Jesus and the work that God does through you is meant to be shared.  And that means that you need to have the eyes, ears, and heart to bring others along.  Sometimes it means you take a “pull” and guide others.  Other times you push from behind.  Other times its riding next to them!  Sometimes it’s simply acknowledging they exist even when they don’t “fit in”.  Your job is to reflect Jesus, give God the glory, and pedal with people!  Show them they have a God-given gift and a gift that is God.  There are many, many people that could use the Hope that Jesus provides if you find a way to bring them along…and many times it has nothing to do with what you say but everything with what you do. 

Sometimes new-to-cycling people get discouraged by trying to ride at the same speed and distance as others.  But it doesn’t work that way.  The common thing between the novice and the expert is the bike…the journey on it might be very different between riders!

I love the thrill of going fast and pushing the pace on a bike ride.  And there are many like me.  But there are always others that need to know how to pedal their own bike and get down the road with enjoyment, passion, and purpose.  They may look different than the typical cyclist but the road that lies ahead of them is just as valuable to them as the road I’ve taken. 

If the gift of a bike ride can be shared then so can the gift of Jesus.  It’s not about fitting in, it’s showing others they belong to Him. 

Lane Changes

“What if you didn’t make it?” was the question posed to me after I had just driven my truck over a snow-covered, divided-highway curb. 

Now I’m not advocating for all of you to start taking your mini-vans, sport-sedans, or work trucks and start hucking them over concrete barriers on highways.  But I am advocating for getting in the lane you are called to and never answering that question.

I was in the middle of Washington D.C. traffic on a Saturday evening and in a bit of a rush to get home.  Jan had called the night before and informed me that she and the boys were fine, but our furnace was not.  Our water pipes were not happy as well with the freezing temps, so she was doing her best as a pioneer woman to keep the heat rolling, the water flowing, and two young, young boys happy. 

I needed to get home.

It’s brutal to sit in traffic and go nowhere fast. But it gets worse when the snow flurries start stacking up and soon there’s a few inches covering the road.  It’s an instant recipe for people to make poor decisions and freak out.  And with that I decided to start navigating the roads that crisscrossed our nation’s capital in an effort to find a new way home; one that was less crazy.

I almost had it; we were just outside of Leesburg, Virginia when I discovered that my way home was in the lane just to my left.  But between me and that lane towards home was a concrete divider covered in snow; roughly 18 inches high. 

Conventional wisdom might say that I could continue in my lane and make my way back to where the lane change was “allowed” by simply taking a longer route.  I could get there eventually through other paths and other roads.  Many would suggest this is the preferred route, especially if they think there is plenty of time to eventually get themselves in the right lane.  There’s safety in not making a change when you think that all roads will eventually lead you back to where you can decide to make a lane change that is smooth and comfortable.

Circumstances can dictate decisions though too.  And I needed to get home to my loves.  I wanted to be with them…now!  Have you ever felt that tug, maybe not the exact story but a sense of calling and love that caused you to make a move without regard to much of anything else?  The main thing was the main thing and there was no denying that pull towards a placement next to them.   Not much else mattered at that time because I could not stay in the wrong lane and experience a together family. 

In between my discovery of being in the wrong lane and my successful median-mashing I ran a calculated risk assessment.  It took all of 3 seconds.  It wasn’t doubting my driving or my truck’s ability, but I was thinking through how to place my tires on the curbing so that I could make it up and over.  In my mind I had already made the decision.  Now I just needed to take a few steps towards that lane and commit!  I took my front left tire onto the curb and with a steady throttle we got each tire up and over.  For all I know Jesus could have shoveled all of the snow off the curb and pushed my truck over as well!

Once the back tires landed on the lane that would take me home, I pressed the gas and we headed towards home.  It was still snowing.  It would still be treacherous.  The way would still have adventure along the way but at least I positioned myself in a lane that was pointing home. 

Driving in and around Washington D.C. is chaotic.  Especially in snowy conditions.  Everyone is in a hurry and everyone is looking for a way to get…home.  It’s not all that different than our souls.  Some are always in a hurry.  Some are hardened and have a “road-rage” attitude.  Some rely only on GPS and choose to have others decide their path.  Others just drive around aimlessly until they get to where they think they need to be! Eventually everyone needs to know the road they are on and where it leads. 

I think there’s a call on your heart that will put you in the right lane if you answer it.  Please don’t deny that.   And if you sense that don’t delay that lane change.  There will be a choice you need to make and perhaps the lane change will be a bit bumpy.  But that longing of love and purpose from God can call you over and set you on your way home.  Making that change can change your course and your life!    

My passenger wanted to know what I was going to do if I had perched my truck on the top of a concrete barrier in northern Virginia.  I never really thought that far to be honest.  The path we were on was not right; end of the story!  So, we had to change lanes.   My answer was “Well, that’s a question I’ll never have to answer because we didn’t!”

Take inventory of the lane you are traveling.  If you are in one lane and Jesus is calling you in that next lane over…well, do what you need to do to get there!  Let go of some things, reach out, soften your heart, climb over a median, do whatever you need to do to get in His lane.

When you decide to get in the lane Jesus is in, you’ll never have to answer the question.

Jesus and Smashing Pumpkins

Pumpkins are crucial to Thanksgiving.  It’s a holiday that gives pumpkins a reason to grow…there is a nod to these gourds in nearly every menu item or decoration.  You might not even like the taste of pumpkin, whether it’s in pies, cookies, a roll, or spiced up and a flavoring in your coffee but you’re gonna see or taste them one way or another.  I’m kinda indifferent towards pumpkins to be honest.  But this week I became more of a fan of pumpkins not because of what I tasted but from what I felt.

That sounds odd, especially when I will tell you that by pumpkins what I really mean is “Smashing Pumpkins”, the alternative/rock/grunge band from the 1990’s.  They aren’t a band you would play at the Thanksgiving table and they have your typical rock and roll band history…just a lot of drama, drugs, unhealthy relationships, etc.  They aren’t wholesome and their lyrics, if you can even discern them aren’t what I would call uplifting or encouraging.  And yet it was this band’s fans that gave me a perspective on the message Jesus wants us to live out and share. 

I stumbled upon a video on YouTube this week that captured The Smashing Pumpkins performing an album release party in a record store in 1993.  As the concert started I was in awe of the nostalgia that came roaring back… the 1990s were so different but so vivid in my memory!  I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s so while it was a bit of a flashback it was also reliving my youth.  Maybe you are of another generation and most likely have different musical tastes but when you see something from your early years it really catches your eye and attention.

Apparently, this little thrown together concert was only available on bootleg tape recordings for 30 years.  The sounds and scene were memorable though and from reading the comments on the video it was legendary, at least to those that declare the Smashing Pumpkins as musicians!  For decades this performance was only talked about or listened to on grainy tapes…and then out of the blue a real video surfaced that captured not just the band but the response of the people that were there.

I continued to watch this old-new video and I see the store packed with teens and 20-somethings.  They had no phones.  No cameras.  And nothing other to do than stand and listen. Then all stood shoulder to shoulder and the first row was 3 feet away from the 4 chairs the band  members sat in…you couldn’t get much closer to the sound and away from distractions than that.  Then I heard the first chords of the first song on their then-new album and it sounded totally different.  The real album had a sonic and extremely loud and full sound from the first chords; this was all stripped down and completely new.  You could tell it was the same song but a new way to hear it…

I’m not a musician but I know enough that the album and style of music the Smashing Pumpkins were known for had a heavy-dose of distortion and other electric ways of manipulating the sounds that came out of a guitar.  I’d say that they had a lot of different sounds that came out of one band, all with the help of technology and experimentation.  The chords may be the same between the electric and acoustic guitar when playing their songs but the sound sure was different listening to that simplified set in a Chicago record store.  The riff from that first song on the album version was intense…because it was so loud.  It fills your ears with all kinds of adjustments made in a sound booth.  The acoustic version was none of this and yet the crowd was full of life from the simple sounds.

Now this is where Thanksgiving, the Smashing Pumpkins, and Jesus all collide in my mind.   I’m watching this concert and I see the crowd fully engaged to the music.  I see them all looking forward, without a phone in their hands, and I see them moving and grooving to the simple sounds that came out from musicians’ hands.  I don’t even hear the lyrics to the songs, which to be honest, I know aren’t exactly life-giving, encouraging, or anything uplifting.  But I see a generation that fully is onboard with the sounds that aren’t distorted, manipulated, or tweaked to be “better” than they really are.  Even though the sounds were super simple compared to the sounds of the electrified-album, the crowd was closer to the original artists than they ever could be at a stadium or arena.  The closeness and simplicity were amazing to watch.  The attendees wanted the same songs but in a stripped-down way and were ready to give their full attention.  That’s what made this little performance legendary to those that were there.

We are in a time that people are hungry for something that moves them and satisfies their soul.  It just needs to be presented in a way that’s not run through a million different distortion pedals, amps, or synthesizers.  Simple.  Real.  From the heart.  Authentic.  Jesus teachings were so simple and yet the playback can get so muddled that others don’t want to hear it because it sounds…not relatable.  Jesus seems made up and far away.

To know Jesus is enough.  But to feel His presence is precious to those that seek it.  It makes you move because it’s personal.  Simple.  It’s like you are 3 feet away from a sweet-sounding song…far better than any alternative-grunge band from the 90’s could ever make you feel.  It’s captivating and pure.  And it’s important to take that feeling, that Holy-Spirit driven emotion, and to come alongside others in their pursuits and lives.  Help them seek Jesus.  Find purpose.  Strip it down, make it simple, keep it real. 

We have a lot to be thankful for on Thanksgiving.  So much.  But I keep coming back to the simple message that Jesus offers.  A distorted version might be catchy and sell records, but the stripped down and personal version is what people remember.  Stay close to Him.  Stay close to those that need Him.  And keep it simple and stripped down.  I promise you THAT song will be better than anything a pumpkin-themed band could ever come up with.