Dude, Do You Partake?

We were just two dudes hanging out, checking out the scene, talking about life and sharing some laughs.  I didn’t know this guy until he took notice of my family rolling into the hotel driveway after a day’s travel.  The paddleboards strapped to the roof, the two small boys, and the enormous dog lumbering into a hotel were apparently interesting enough for my new friend to start asking me questions.

It started innocently enough.  He wondered where we were surfing in Connecticut.  I had to explain that were not surfer dudes or surfer dudettes…these were paddle boards that we actually stood on and meandered around calm lakes, not big waves.   And we were only passing through Connecticut; we were on our way home from Maine and needed to stop for the night since we got a late start.

After that initial question about surfing in Connecticut we drifted into talk about his military service, his family in Virginia, and shared some laughs.  Then he asked his second question.

“Well brother, do you…do you partake of the doob?”

It was a good thing I had sunglasses on because my eyes got real big.  In the time between his first question and last we must have had a pretty good time because now he wanted to share a joint with me.  Marijuana.  Wacky tobaccy.  I didn’t see that coming but it made me laugh because I was just a dad trying to navigate his family home from vacation; plus I wouldn’t know how to “partake” anyways!  My friend had me pegged as a cool surfer-dude that would share a cannabis cigarette in a hotel parking lot.  I didn’t know if I should feel flattered or afraid!  To each their own but I wasn’t looking to smoke some marijuana to wrap up the family vacation.

But truth be told the space and conversation between the surfboards and the marijuana was the most meaningful.  That’s where I learned about his military service.  He told me about his injuries and struggles when he retired.  He mentioned being emotionally hurt after serving and being told “it wasn’t worth it”.  He was traveling on the road too but was rolling solo.  When you heard a bit about his story you could see how he might look to something, anything, to lessen the pain.   Take away the pain.  Or simply forget about it for a little bit.  He had been through a lot.

I politely declined my opportunity to partake of the doob but I was glad for the opportunity to make a friend and maybe, just maybe, give him some hope that would last longer than a cigarette. 

As followers of Jesus we are to be in the world but not to be of the world.  It’s good to be on guard with things that aren’t from God when we are set on following Him.   But as my buddy in the hotel parking lot said through his many stories; the world can really beat us up.  It’s hard.  It’s brutal.  None of us can get through unscathed or blemish-free.  It’s easy to look down when we should be looking up.  I have no idea for smoking was to cope or if he just enjoyed it…but he was fine with my decline as well.

This little story of a wounded veteran, a road-weary dad, and some marijuana has very little to do with the marijuana.  That debate will always rage on; should it be legal?  Should it be banned?  Should we have more laws?  Why can’t it be more available?  There will always be those that want more rules and regulations and those that want everything to be permissible.   And to dwell on the issue of marijuana is to miss the point with what God had me doing that day.

Standing there under the porch of a hotel showed me that we can stand firm on our principles but stand in the middle for people.  Standing in this case means that you care enough for them to listen, to talk, and to encourage without dropping the hammer of judgement.  God gets to do that, we are there to point them in His direction so they can take the steps God desires for them.  I politely declined his offer but we still had a good talk and a great handshake.

Standing in the middle might sound a bit mushy or non-committal.  But as I was reminiscing about this story I remembered that Jesus stood in the middle many times.  He hung on the cross and gave two thieves a way forward.  One received while one did not.  It was their choice but his place in the middle gave them the chance to make a decision.

He stood in the gap when humanity needed a way to get beyond our sin.

He stood in the middle between the crippled, the possessed, the weak, the mute, and the dead and their new life on earth. 

We all crave a bit of community.  It’s not good to be alone.  And jumping to a side of an issue, a lifestyle, or a movement is one way to find a community.  But it alienates anyone else that might think differently.  We live in a time where we tend to wave the flags of causes, politics, and even nations before leading with being a son or daughter of God.  It’s good to have values and discernment about God’s will for your life; it’s a blessing to come up alongside someone else in the mushy middle to make a friend and show them God’s love.  Part of surrendering to God is the freedom to be used for others that need a friend in odd places and difficult circumstances.   

You can decline to partake but still be a friend and have influence.  You just have to be in the mushy middle.