Disppointing Chilli and Frustrating Frosty’s

Quick!  What’s the most disappointed you’ve ever been?  That’s a question that could really open up a can of worms but it was the question posed at the dinner table to our boys. 

The first answer came from Sam.  I was scrolling through my memory trying to think of a time that I really disappointed him.  I could recall many times to be honest but I had a sigh of relief and a good laugh when he gave me his answer.

“I’d say I was most disappointed when you told me I could have chicken nuggets and then you changed your mind and made me eat white chicken chili.”  Phew!  That wasn’t so bad…for me!  But in Sam’s world that was heartache and a catastrophe to go from chicken nuggets to something that didn’t even compute to a favorite food.  We were just hoping to streamline the dinner options and all eat the same thing.  We streamlined it alright, three of us ate something we loved and one suffered in a bowl of chicken, beans, broth, and tears.  It was that bad for him.

We have now renamed white chicken chili to “disappointment chili” in our house.

The same question came my way.  Oh my.  I seem to have a specialty in disappointments but I settled on the time that I spent a night at the hospital, recovering from having my cancer tumor and thyroid removed.  It was hard enough for me to get in a less-than-flattering hospital gown and go into surgery.  Then they push you around in a gurney when I was totally ok to walk.  I was thankful for have surgery to remove some faulty parts but being on a hospital schedule was, well, disappointing.

I dozed off and on throughout the night but was wide awake and ready to go at 8am.  I had to wait until the hospital staff deemed me good enough to go.  So I waited.  And waited some more.  Meanwhile Jan and the boys had their day upended when the snow started to fly.  Their school day went from in-person to virtual.  Jan had a plan to come stay with her husband and then the school day went all crazy so she pivoted and did virtual lesson plans while waiting for me to get the go ahead to come home.

Eventually I got the clearance to leave and I started to stand up to, well, walk out and down the stairs.  If it wasn’t snowing I would have thought about renting a bike from one of those bike share kiosks and ridden home but I thought that would be frowned upon.  Jan was on her way and I was forced to have my butt sit in a wheelchair to take the ride down to the lobby.

Jan pulled up right as the snow was really flying.  Things were really starting to line up on my frustration front because not only was I not allowed to do things like walk, I had to let Jan drive.  In the snow.  On the highway.  Not that she couldn’t, but let’s just say it’s not her sweet spot of comfort.  I relegated myself in the passenger seat and sulked while she navigated the snow.

Once on the highway I realized I was really hungry.  I felt like I endured a lot and wanted something special.  Sam would say chicken nuggets, but I was feeling more like ice cream.  I asked if we could swing by a Wendy’s for a Frosty.  A Frosty would make everything better. 

We decided on which Wendy’s would be best and then I started to reach for Jan’s purse.  It didn’t matter where I reached because it wasn’t there.  I didn’t have my wallet because Jan put it in her purse the day before.  And with the day totally upended with school, virtual school, and a husband in surgery, the purse never made the cut to go to the hospital.  We had no money and with no money there was no Frosty.

I might have sulked some more.  I couldn’t drive, we had no money, and I couldn’t get a Frosty.  A frustration Frosty!  And I had big old scar across my neck. 

So that was my “most frustrating” story I retold at the dinner table.  And it’s really not that bad looking back at it…in fact we all roar with laughter about it.  The truth is whether you have “disappointment chili” or a “frustrating frosty” on your menu it’s really not about who or what disappoints you.  It’s how you deal with it.

People and things can be frustrating.  But God asks us to work with Him to get through the disappointment.  To pin an emotion only on another is to take any heart-working off of us.  I don’t know about you, but I know I need to keep working on my heart.  God knows it too because I sense frustrating things every day that I have to change my attitude, change my perspective, and change my heart with.  It’s not an easy process.  And I can easily say it’s not fair either.  But I keep pedaling and running with God because it’s a process to see things His way.

Today the boys and I were driving around (not eating Frosties) and we started following a truck with a cross in the back window and a bumper sticker that said “F--- (a certain political person’s name).  That was an interesting conversation with the boys.  But in between that back window and that bumper should be a heart that God works with.  Frustration is a real emotion.  How we deal with it says everything about how we see God working in us! 

We all giggle when we talk about chili and Frosties at our house.  The disappointment in those things doesn’t come from the people that forced us to eat chili or the people that couldn’t buy us a Frosty.  The laughs come from realizing we are all on a journey where God’s working on us and we are living together in that process.  We can suffer together and laugh together.  And God will carry that message outside of our house.  I hope he does the same for you and your family.