Skinny Jeans for Life
His jeans were baggy but it certainly wasn’t meant to be a fashion statement. There have been some that have walked this earth that somehow made oversized pants a trend or style but not my dad. Nope, this was just the way his jeans fit since there was less of him.
A year of cancer treatments had gradually whittled my Dad’s weight down to…well, my weight. I am holding steady to the weight I was in high school. That’s partially due to diet but mainly due to a lifestyle where I burn calories like a banshee while riding my bike or running. But my dad wasn’t known to be a lean, mean, endurance sport machine at any part of his life. He had other interests that were as important to him as competing is to me. Consequently I remember there being a lot of him growing up!
His size meant that I couldn’t push him around on the basketball court. His weight meant that he rolled down hills faster than me on our bike rides. And his strength meant that living room wrestling were an exercise…in futility! There was more to my Dad before cancer.
So recently he had these baggy jeans from his “bigger” days. They bunched at the front, his belt cinched them to his frame and he kept on living his life. But you can’t just keep wearing the old, larger, stuff when there’s less of you. So eventually my mom and dad went jeans shopping.
I know my Mom would have preferred that he ate everything she could manage to cook and that her kitchen would defy the laws of cancer-fighting but the reality is that he lost weight gradually over the last year. What started as a few pounds has added up to quite a few since the remedy for beating cancer has stolen his appetite. The process has reduced him but not his beliefs or resolve to keep going. He vowed to take the treatments that would sometimes wreak havoc on his body, so in a lot of ways he submitted to the process, whatever it ended up being.
Around the same time as the new, slimmer, sporty, jeans appeared I heard my Dad say that he doesn’t want to just exist and wait for something new to pop-up on the “portal” or the next doctors appointment. He wants to LIVE while he’s alive. I know we all want to live our life but when he was packing 70 extra pounds years ago I don’t recall hearing as profound of a statement as that. As it turns out when there’s less of him there’s a profound excitement to live life each and every day, despite the uncertainty of what is next. The submission to go through a season where there would actually be less of him has produced an urgency to keep living and taking advantage of the daily blessing of waking up. One of my favorite personalities used to say “I woke up this morning and thank God I did.” Less leads to more.
I wouldn’t recommend cancer as a weight-loss solution but I can say that when there is less of us there is a more refined desire to live a life that God creates. Some of us have had times where we were super heavy, carrying not just our own desires but all of the anxiety and worry that comes with it! We were heavy, heavy, heavy people and didn’t know it! When the world revolves around me, or you, and we own the outcomes, the process, and methods to get more are we doing anything but forcing ourselves into “bigger jeans”? Being big and bloated doesn’t mean life is necessarily better; it just means we have successfully fooled ourselves into thinking we are in control and need big jeans!
Our big selves are common in the world. You can be a believer of something, nothing, or everything and be big. You can be a believer of Jesus and be big. Big selves wear big jeans. But to be a follower…that’s all about less of us and more of Him. Think skinny-jeans. And it’s not a bad thing! Less of us, less of our own desires and understanding and more of a way forward that is full of miracles. Brokenness converted to restoration. Problems turned into praises. You get the idea; it’s things that can only be done by Jesus because we would never, ever, be able to work all of this out on our own big-jeans wearing selves! Believing is good for the head, following is strength training for the soul.
The process of “less of us” can be gradual. Maybe even painful or uncomfortable. It’s not unlike weight loss. There is a bit of a submission to a treatment that takes us through our big selves and into our lesser selves. But less of us isn’t bad when it leads to a more vivid picture of what matters and how we should live our days. Rapid weight loss may lead to a denim transformation but a heart that follows God’s loving plan truly changes the way we live.
