WHO ARE YOU?!
We were two dads, hanging out at the pool, trying our best to not embarrass our kids or wives with our attire and jokes. It was a spectacular place; a hot springs swimming pool in Ouray, Colorado. It was the kind of place you could sit back and just stare at the endless mountain peaks as entertainment, without ever dipping a toe in the warm water. As we made small talk we learned where home was, where we had been in Colorado, and a brief story telling of the adventures we had with our families while we were there.
For a complete stranger we had a great conversation. It was manly as we talked about the trails around Ouray that challenged driver and machine. We talked about mountain biking, which was one of the reasons we were in Colorado in the first place. And then I made a small quip, a seemingly minor comment about leaving a career so that I could give my family the best of me instead of what was left of me. And that sparked the rest of the conversation…
As we talked I realized my fellow friend of fatherhood was wrestling with a similar situation. He was a few years older but had a similar longing that I had experienced. There has to be something MORE…not to make more money or have more status or more prestige. There has to be something that fills the soul and not just a bank account. He mentioned wanting to make a difference; not that he hadn’t this far in his career but so far he was very successful in making his company profitable. He had an itch to do something that lit his spirit up and used his gifts. I told him that I understood…boy do I understand!
I could have rambled on but I felt like I was better served to answer his questions and respond to his comments. I have a story like everyone else does but something told me it’s more important to help others write, or rewrite, their own with practical encouragement.
A few days later I was rolling along dusty roads at 10 thousand feet on my mountain bike. I had traded my swimming trunks for spandex and was a participant in the Leadville 100 bike race. I was loving life, I am uniquely wired to actually enjoy long days in the saddle and pushing myself and machine up and over mountains and flying through the valley roads. Along the route there were aid stations where riders could have support crews to help fuel the ride.
I was participating in this race with a good friend and we both had the same cycling kit. We both had goals for this race but a very different approach to tackling the terrain. He was organized, data-driven, and prepared with a plan that would be executed by himself and his friends and family. It was impressive to watch and to see the organization! Then there was me…driven by experience and a willingness to adjust on the fly and read the race as I saw fit. Think “live in the moment” combined with “we’ll figure it out as we go”! Both ways were appropriate for us as we both exceeded our goals and finished well.
But it almost went sideways at mile 70. I was riding through an aid station where I was looking for the “neutral” support. This is the group of volunteers that have food and water for the riders that don’t have a team at this particular aid station. Jan and the boys helped me at two aid stations along the way but these neutral stations were very important to my plan as I could grab what I needed without burdening my family with chasing me all over rural Colorado.
As I slowed my pace down and scanned for the neutral tent I saw two guys waving an identical jersey that I was wearing and yelling for me to stop. Not knowing any better I rolled up to these eager athlete advocates and skid to a stop.
Within seconds I had two fresh water bottles on my bike and my jersey was emptied of its contents. I almost felt violated at how quickly and thorough these complete strangers pick-pocketed me and simultaneously filled me up with random supplies. I was startled and confused…but not nearly as much as my new friend when he actually looked me in the face and went…
“You are ahead of schedule! You’re crushing it! Wait…WHO ARE YOU?!”
And then I realized that I had just received the royal treatment and plan of my friend, who was minutes behind me. He had a crew ready and willing to help him ride his race. Within 30 seconds I had his plan in my race, which messed up my loosey-goosey plan and certainly would have messed up his strategic plan! His vision and execution of a plan was not for me. And my “take it as it comes” plan was not a good way for him to race! We had a case of mistaken identity!
After I introduced myself and explained who I was I undid all their hard work and told them it was a trial run for later. I lost a bit of time but meandered down the row of spectators where I found the food and fluids I was really looking for; my race was back in the flow and my friends race was restored!
When the dust settled (and with my prized Belt Buckle in my hand from a successful race) I thought back to the Hot Springs Pool and my Dad talk. I think we can all relate to wanting to have a life of value, meaning, and to make a difference in our own unique way. We want our life’s work to make a difference whether that’s in our career, our family life, or even racing bicycles. My jaunt across the Rockies showed me that there is not a scalable, sure-fire, or certain way to get to difference making.
When we have that desire in our heart to make a difference, I believe we have to know and do the Will of God. It sounds simple but it looks different to me, to you, and to each person on this planet! It involves a lot of faith, sometimes a lot of doubt, and a lot of time seeking, looking, and praying. To follow someone’s recipe or game plan may help but it places you into a structure that may not be best for you. What works for some might not work for you and vice versa. Sure, we can take bits and pieces of advice along the way but to fall in line with others master plan won’t answer our hearts desire to make a personal positive influence on this world. I believe when we align our game plan with the work God is already doing then we will be difference makers. It may look different than others but it’s personal and perfect!
When I pulled over and received someone else’s bottles and nutrition I was getting a lot of attention and good stuff. But I had no idea what it was, how I would respond to it, and I lost my ability to choose based on the moment! Those were important factors to me. Furthermore, I would have probably ruined my friends race by taking what was his and riding away with it. I had to pedal my own race while he pedaled his…we were both going to end up at the same place but had a different way to get there!
So if you are a dad pondering change on a pool-side or you’re a mom slinging water bottles at a bike race trust that there is a way, a path, and a purpose to difference making. It may look unconventional and unique but that’s exactly the point. You were made with vision and value that no one else can duplicate or replicate. Ride your race with the One that created it!
