The Effective LifeHack
I was watching TV at the gas pump the other day (which just sounds futuristic) and the host was blabbing about “life hacks”. Apparently we all need to learn ways to make it through this life with simple tricks that make life “better”. I actually watched the video twice because my gas tank was all but empty. That life hack was an expensive education!
Life hacks are interesting. They seem to mix effective and efficient together and that’s what makes them so cool. My favorite one is one my buddy showed me how to get a bolt unstuck from a socket. Simply drop it a few time on a concrete floor and the vibrations will shake the bolt or nut loose that’s stuck. My boys love it when I just toss a socket across the garage in order to free a bolt from it’s socket captor!
When I had zero margin in my schedule I was looking for a “lifehack” to make all of my responsibilities and relationship work. When you combine family, friends, coworkers, customers, and random strangers you want to make it all flow nice and smoothly. How do you combine being effective with others with being efficient? The answer? I have a story for that!
I had spent the spring and early summer ripping around on my bike and running in every nook and cranny of my “spare time”. Our boys were young, only 1 and 3, and I was tasked with running a business and being a functional dad and husband. I was also in my peak of athletic ability and had dreams of punching my ticket for a spot at the Ironman in Hawaii. It was ambitious if not crazy to try to do everything.
Jan was supportive in this endeavor. That’s actually a massive understatement but we have a mutual understanding. If I can go pound the pedals for 5 hours in the morning for me, then I can be a fully functioning Dad and Husband the rest of the day too. No naps, no sofa, no complaining about walking down the aisles of a grocery store. It’s all part of the deal! It’s a responsibility to train and be a functional member of the family.
So we did crazy things like carting the boys to a long bike race on a Saturday and then driving to the middle of Virginia for a half Ironman on Sunday. It wasn’t crazy to do that as an athlete; it was crazy to have two crumb crunchers go along for the journey. There was a 5-mile running race where I pushed the boys in a stroller and then I biked 50 miles back to work.
All of the training peaked in July and it was time to go to my big race. I didn’t fall into the “average” Ironman athlete when it came to income and demographics so it was a bit of a stretch to go to the race and swing all of the premium performance-enhancing protocols. And that’s ok. Instead of staying near the start and finish line we decided to camp 12 miles away. We also decided to eat our meals at the campsite. And then we decided to take our cancer-ridden dog along too because we couldn’t stand the thought of leaving him for a week or ponying up the cash for a kennel. With all of these decisions we recruited my parents and just because they are our parents and wouldn’t say “No” they decided to come along. Yay! Fun for the whole family!
We decided to split the trip up into two. I spent most of a Wednesday hacking into the wiring harness on my old Toyota 4Runner so that the lights on our borrowed popup trailer would work. Once that was complete we packed all of our stuff; important things in the vehicle, stuff we could go without for a few hours in the camper. Bikes went on top. There was no room for the dog so he was sent off to the grandparents for a luxurious ride in peace with them.
There is no better way to prepare for a race of extreme endurance than driving the family halfway to a destination. If you ever hear a lifehack that says to spread a trip out over two days with two toddlers they are lying! We traveled slower than I wanted, not just because of potty stops and snacking, but the old 4Runner was wheezing up and down the mountains of Pennsylvania with its new life of hauling half our house to the Adirondacks. Once we made it halfway we stopped for the night and the additional responsibility of setting up camp fell on me again. A good way to build endurance is setting up a camp that you will take down in 8 hours time.
The next day we made it to Lake Placid. It’s a small, quaint town that has a lot of personality. I’d imagine it does anyways; on Ironman week it’s a pressure cooker of strutting triathletes with nervous energy. Athletes are focused on one thing; themselves!
And then we rolled into town. Like a modern scene of the Beverly hillbillies, I navigated our family truckster through the sea of muscles and spandex and straight towards the Urgent Care hospital. Sam had a giant ear infection and had been crying the last hour of our journey. There was no time to strut when Sam’s ears were shut!
Once we were at the urgent care I sat in the truck with our oldest son Levi. Jan took Sam in to see what we could do with a 1-year old that was going to be camping with his Ironman Dad for the next few days. While other triathletes stretched and took time off their feet I chucked rocks into a ravine with Levi.
After that we had a script for some meds and set off for the pharmacy. Not wanting to revisit our entrance into triathlon-a-polooza we took the backstreets to the local Rite-Aid. Jan took Sam into the store and fetched the meds.
Levi and I had no rocks to chuck in this parking lot so it was just man-talk. Just shooting the breeze, waiting for Mommy and Sam. And then he declared he had to poop. Now. And with nowhere to go and not wanting to deal with any, and I mean any, other drama I plucked him out of the car seat and shoved him into the bushes. I grabbed a tree limb and dug a makeshift latrine and opened up the doors to the truck as to give him some kind of privacy. Then I acted like this was totally normal and that was definitely nothing to see here just in case someone was watching and did want to see. Lifehack!
It was dark when we finally set up camp. But the family was all there. The boys, the crazy cancer-ridden dog, and the grandparents. Doing the race might be the easiest part of the whole trip!
A day camping isn’t super relaxing with two little guys. It’s more like making your homelife more difficult since you are outside more and have less of the stuff that you have at home. I would think navigating the Oregon Trail years ago would be a fair comparison. Now add and Ironman on to that and you have a treat! So when it was the night before the race Jan basically told me to “Save Yourself!” and suggested I go spend the night with a friend in town. They had a real roof over their head, air conditioning, and no little kids. It actually sounded tempting but I had responsibilities. But she insisted and conveyed the idea that if I did poorly she didn’t want it to be because I was worn out from our week of chasing kids, chasing our dog, and digging makeshift latrines.
So I spent the next 17 hours away from my family. I slept well. I performed fantastic! I really had one of my most amazing races. I swam kinda decent and pounded the pedals superbly. I had the fastest bike split out of 3000 people and crawled from nearly 2000th place into the top 20. Then I unleashed a great marathon after that and finished 7th overall. I out-split Olympians in the bike and run and punched my ticket for Kona.
Once the scoring was settled and I had the chance to bask in the glory of what just happened. It was amazing to think I was an Ironman champion. Jan made it to the finish line and celebrated with me. Things like that don’t happen every day.
We made it back to our campsite and I stiffly walked around. My legs were tired but that was only because I poured them out in pursuit of a win! My Dad came over from their site to congratulate me as well. He also had our dog.
While I was out swimming, biking, and running the rest of my family was chasing, cooking, and blending camping life with toddlers, dogs, and Ironman spectating. They were probably more exhausted than I was. Their day was hard but effective; it allowed me to be efficient and win a race!
So his complimenting words were a bit short. I think there was a pat on the back. But there were also the words, “Take.Your.Dog.”. Our Golden Retriever was the last straw in the stack of craziness. My day of maximizing efficiency was in stark contrast to being an effective Dad, Son, and Husband. And with that I was plucked from the top of the podium into the deep waters of being an available, effective Josh! My efficiency in racing really didn’t meet the need of the family that needed me back in my effective role.
It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done, when it comes to healthy relationships efficiency lives in the shadow of effectiveness. Our goal as humans relating to other humans should always to be effective. It’s our God-given mission…to live together and work effectively using our gifts. We are to be effective in our care, in our communication, and in our willingness to do life together! Leading with efficiency is like viewing relationships as a machine. It’s checking the boxes, crossing things off the list, and placing people in certain places. All of that sounds good from an organization standpoint but it doesn’t mean that healthy, effective, relationships are formed. As people we long to have meaning to our life…to be effective in what we put our hands and heart to.
You probably have your own story of inefficiencies like my family camping Ironman adventure. Sometimes things just don’t go smoothly or to plan and that’s ok! We aren’t machines, we are living, breathing, creatures that can create, inspire, and encourage along the way. Our life stories are effective because of the inefficiencies that we endure. There is no lifehack to living an effective life other than to just keep on being you!
