4 Beams
Two years ago we lost our garage to a big old fire. It was the capstone to a year where we experienced tremendous freedom but also loss and rejection. The fire cut out a large piece of our property, removed a lot of tangible history from our possession, and wounded our little family’s spirit. It also brought some friendships to a new level and we bonded with our neighbors in a new way. There was growth through adversity for sure.
One of the longest lasting effects of the fire is still ongoing; in fact I’m not sure when it will ever end! It’s not the rebuilding of the garage, we finished that up just as the Covid stuff was starting. It’s not replacing the oodles of tools and knick-knacks I lost as I have pieced together a pretty awesome man-cave for all of my projects. The longest lasting effect of the fire is my sleep…I haven’t slept in my own bed since the fire!
The thought of a ginormous fire outside our house has raised concern for our youngest son and consequently he has retreated from his upstairs loft kingdom that he shares with his brother to my bedroom. He sleeps well with his mom close by and our dog Kobe. I head upstairs and relive my childhood in a single bed with Nerf bedsheets!
Outside our bedroom window stood our old garage. Then the charred-log structure with rubble inside and out. Then it was a clean, empty space. And now stands a bigger, steel garage. The completed garage is much better to look at but it was a process to get there. Sam sleeps well with the new garage standing tall and our house further protected from fire danger. Wisdom is guided by experience!
The view from my new sleeping quarters is different. It’s a loft so I have a good view of our ceiling. There is also an arsenal of nerf weapons, legos, hot wheels, and everything else a little boy might like up there. But the way the beds are situated I see two objects every morning when I wake up. It may be 5am and dark but there is always enough light to make out the silhouette of 4 beams that span the entire width and height of our house.
These beams form two crosses from my new-since-the-fire sleeping position. From my position each set of two beams supports everything above, below, and across me. A set of beams allows me to sleep in shelter and warmth every night. Two sets of beams are like double protection! It’s a double portion of peace.
The comforting part about the beams spanning our house is that they are always there. It’s not like I wake up some mornings and they aren’t there. If I awake, and thank God I do, I know they will be there to stand and span. There is nothing I have to do to make them appear as they were already placed there to cover and hold things in place around me. I know they are there because the roof and walls are still standing. I see them before I even place a foot on the floor or think about the things of the day. There’s nothing I have to do to wish them into place or will them into existence. They simply are there because they are needed; to span the gap and allow me to wake up and live the day! The two crosses serve a reminder. Every. Day.
